Handling Failing – 7 Lessons I Learnt from Failing my Driving Test xxx times!
I am going to share a tale with you about me that you are not allowed to giggle…
…I did my driving test 5 times. I will spell it in words, in case you did not read the numeral… Yup, FIVE.
Now, before you do indeed start giggling and asking how could that happen, I can tell you straight up right now that I am a good driver!! I also tell Chuck who passed his driving test on his first attempt, that I am a better driver than him. Is that not so, Chuck?
Now, I failed my driving test not for the fact that I was a nervous learner driver that could not tell the difference between the brakes and the accelerator. In fact, my driving instructor would always say, Hey, you can drive! And the funny thing is that I knew I jolly well could, and could empathise with his frustration, lol!
Yet come the test, it was a different drama. Doing a reverse round the corner, on one of the five tests, I zig zagged round the bend such that I could almost hear the driving examiner heaving an impatient breathe, possibly seething at what could give me the audacity to enter for a test.
On another occasion I stalled on a hill start, and even rolled back…and when I finally moved off, it was with screeching tyres, yes I was that learner driver! ( I learned on a manual car…And for those who know what I am talking about, manual cars stall if you don’t get it right… I think Americans call manual cars, stick shift or something like that). Anyway if you don’t know what I am still talking about, jump to the next paragraph! And if you are still with me…Here is another secret – I actually mastered hill start a few good years after I passed! I was still stalling my blooming car on hills!
Anyways, I refused to switch to doing my test on automatic…I wanted my options open to be able to drive any car. So manual it had to be, come stalling, rolling backwards or otherwise. You see in the UK, if you pass on automatic you can’t drive a manual car. But if you pass on manual, you can drive any car.
By the time I was getting ready for my fourth test, the word ‘driving test’ was leaving a foul residue in my mouth! I remained determined. I concentrated so hard on mastering all that I had failed on previously. At a price. I paid no attention to the theory side of the test (which at that time used to be a quick 5 minutes oral test at the end of the practical test and the easiest part of the test).
The fourth test came like all the other tests. I failed the theory. That meant I failed the whole test. I went home to endure an evening of rib cracking weeping, wailing and gnashing of teeth. My driving test failure rate had just incremented by one, all thanks to me not revising a few road signs. I had beaten the record of everyone whom I ever knew at that time of failing a driving test. Thankfully I passed at test number 5.
But in all the 4 failed attempts, there are lessons to be learnt on how to handle failing:
##1 Recognize that failing does not make you a failure
I never saw myself as a failure. Hey, I know someone who did their driving test more than 10 times. They actually never actually told me or our group of friends just how many times they attempted, but I suspect probably about 15 times. I think that shows courage and determination. But tenacity was the name of their game and they passed after such a long haul drive! Even if you never pass at something does not label you a failure.
Being a failure is an internal thing. It has nothing to do with results but rather how we see ourselves. And if you see yourself as a failure, then failing will become natural and will attract failure frustratingly in your life.
##2 What lessons can you learn?
What can you learn from failing a test or exam, or project? Did you make a mistake? Were you not prepared enough? Were you not self motivated? Is there something that you need to develop more in you? There is always something to learn from the things we fail in life. There is always a golden lesson to learn.
##3 See failing as opportunities
This follows from the point above. Remember the one who fails has an opportunity to learn something or to master something. I mastered a few things simply because I made the mistakes during my test and not on the road after I has passed my test.
##4 It is also about perspective
Again this follows from above. Thomas Edison, the inventor of the light bulb is noted for saying that I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work! So my projection, Edison’s thoughts, I did not fail. I just found how to reverse round a corner better. Today, I am better at parking because I had to practice over and over and over and over and over (you getting the picture) again in order not to make the same mistake in my driving test. So I made as many variations of mistakes of parking such that I actually mastered corrected many bad parking habits.
##5 Don’t stop
There are some people who have given up on their driving test just after failing two or three times. Remember you don’t drown by falling into the water. You drown by staying there. Keep that dream alive by refusing to give up. There is a place or even a time for knowing when to call it a day, but often we tend to call it quits too soon.
##6 Pray
Never underestimate the power of prayer. When you feel like giving up, you need to draw strength from inside. And that inside is from your spirit. Go on your knees and ask for divine help, guidance and/or direction. You can even ask for ability and wisdom. The Bible says ask and you shall receive! I must admit I did not pray during this saga but there was someone who was…my mother. I cannot underestimate the power that lay behind her heavenly requests on my behalf. Who knows…I may have given up when I failed the fourth time, cause I was very upset…no lie!
##7 You won’t remember the pain once you succeed
Finally, once you succeed, you won’t really remember the pain of failing. Imagine Thomas Edison finally getting the light bulb to work. Do you think he was balling his eyes on the other 99,999 failures? I don’t think so.
When the examiner told me I passed, I nearly kissed him on his cheek…that was how elated I was. Did I remember that evening of weeping? Certainly not. I was on the phone the minute I got home, announcing to the world I had passed. I was ringing dealers to book appointments to go check out some cars to buy. The pain becomes anesthetized once you pass. So the pain is only temporary.
And no one asks me how many times I passed my test before getting in my car!
How many times did you pass your driving test? What lessons have you learnt from anything you took a while to succeed on? Please share or comment…if you dare!
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