5 Ways to direct Anger Positively
The Good Book says be angry but sin not. While that may sound like a green light to be angry, it cannot be discounted that the same verse does say anger should not lead to sin.
This shows that anger could be negative. After all, many say that there is one letter in danger and anger. Yes anger can be a danger.
Anger is an emotion. We must endeavor to be in control of our emotions rather than our emotions be in control of us. I like what Chuck said in an earlier blog on how to stop acting out in anger
The purpose of anger is to motivate us to correct a situation. However, most times focus is on the anger itself and not on the situation that needs correcting. The result often is the emotion feeding on itself. Anger then propels you to retaliate against the source rather than dealing with the reason.
I agree, if we can see anger as something that grieves us (out of righteous indignation) rather that a personal thing, anger would be more controlled, less reactive and there would be less resulting strife.
Remember anger is an emotion. So the emotions that lead to the negative effects of anger should always be avoided. This blog talks from the standpoint is using our emotions positively.
How can we focus our anger positively:
##1 Anger can be a motivator to correct a situation
As said above, see anger as a motivator to correct a situation. For example, kids being abused, stigma and discrimination against mental illness, should rise in us a motivation to do something. Not to vent, rant and rave, swear, curse and do nothing afterwards. That is negative energy that has not achieved anything.
Anger often shows us what we are passionate about. Rather than leading a gang that intimidates people, why not be a leader of a group that does something positive?
The fact you can lead a gang shows that you have great leadership skills. So embrace and direct those skills in an upward manner. People like Martin Luther King, Nelson Mandela and so on for example, channelled injustice acts made towards them and their society into bringing about a social change and justice
#2 Awaken positive change
Anger is like a storm. Storms and hurricanes often bring a lot of devastation, just like the negative effects of anger (bitterness, breakdown of relationships, strife, war and so on).
But storms/hurricanes also have positive effects too. They replenish plant life. The winds can take the seeds hundreds of miles away and spurt new growth elsewhere. Winds causes the topsoil to be distributed to areas that are regressing.
Likewise, anger can get us out of our comfort zone and drive us to make a positive change.
A friend was made redundant from work. He felt really cheated and was fuming. He really felt hard done by. But today he has a job 10 times better (while a bit of an exaggeration but you get the picture). He is thankful because he had a career change, discovered some new skills and is a better person.
Obviously his initial reaction of extreme anger was unnecessary. But if he had foresight, he could have seen that the redundancy was a blessing in disguise! I have seen this time and again when the initial reaction to being ‘short-changed’ or side=lined is anger. I have seen even businesses been birthed as a result of being ‘hard done by’!
#3 Cause us to examine ourselves
Following on from the point above, sometimes in a ‘slinging match’ a few choice words are exchanged in the heat of the moment…which I am obviously not advocating.
However, when the heat is lowered, is there any truth in the ‘exaggerated character assassination’ that was extended to you?
If we eliminate the inflated words and look at the bare bones of what was said concerning us, is there any truth in what was said? If so, maybe it is time for change to address our attitudes and ways.
#4 Anger often unearths hidden resentments and grudges
Rather than use the heat of the moment to tell the person that you are upset with, about an issue that happened in 1927, (which has nothing to do with what you are upset with right now,) why not wait to cool down?
The fact the 1927 incident is still lingering means it has to be dealt with…but not now. But hidden resentment is poisonous to our souls and it could spell unforgiveness. When you are both calm, talk about it and nail it (calmly), once and for all.
#5 Anger can defend us
We can use anger to positively to defending ourselves. It can be a natural defence against danger, being vulnerable and helps us to set boundaries. It must however not be used to control or intimidate!
In closing, the important this is to always put a lid on anger. The Good Book says put away anger. So we must always put things into perspective. Don’t be known as ‘Angry Bird 2’ or Incredible Hunk Tim or Angry Jane. Don’t allow anger to define you as a raging beast. And above all, never let anger fester. Never let the sun go down on your anger.
If you are an ex leader of a gang, we would love to hear your story. Please contact us. It could be a story you want to share or maybe you have some inspiration to post in a blog. Whatever, we are waiting to hear from you!
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