6 Simple Ways To Open Up To Your Date About Mental Illness
#1 Be honest
Don’t hold back or be economical with the truth. Telling someone you are challenged with depression is very different from it’s schizophrenia. Even if one disease sounds worse than the other, don’t create your own self stigmas.
Chuck was honest with me. Though he did not know the diagnosis, he was plain. He told me he was on medication and told me a bit about his history. I admired his honesty and just as well. If he had never told me, I would not have raised the alarm the day he actually was ill. That story is for another day.
#2 Be patient
Your date may never have heard of Bipolar Affective Disorder. Don’t assume everyone heard about Catherine Zeta Jones take on it and therefore everyone now knows the ins and outs of the disease. Be prepared to answer any questions they have, even if they sound silly or far fetched. They may have their own stigmas. Give your date the benefit of the doubt. They may be curious.
#3 Give time
Everyone is different. People react differently. Your date may be upset. Or they may react in a manner you were not expecting. They may say the wrong words. They may even joke about it or become nervous. Give time for your news to sink in. Don’t expect that everything will just continue where you left off before you came clean. Your date needs to adjust their expectations. They need to be honest with themselves.
#4 Don’t take it personally
If you never hear back from them or they decide not to continue seeing you, don’t take it personally. It is certainly not the end of the world. The possibility of this should not stop you spilling the beans either. You may have seen them as the perfect mate, but they were not perfect for you. They need to be in a position to weather the storms that will come (for they will come!). Chuck received a few ‘rejections’. Today, he says ‘Thank God, he did!’. God is the perfect matchmaker. Wait on His perfect timing.
#5 Don’t feel embarrassed
You may not have a lot of self confidence because of the challenge of mental illness. However, never feel embarrassed about your challenge. Say only what makes you feel comfortable too. You don’t need to tell them all the details all at once. There is the clause of ‘self preservation’ after all. Even though I have been married to Chuck for a few good years, there are lots of things I still don’t know concerning him with relation to mental illness. Some things I have found out along the way, some I have asked directly. All in all, I don’t feel I need to know everything. The future is more important than the past. The past does not determine the future either especially for us in Christ. That should be your mindset. Anything in the past is subject to change and does not need to re-occur! There is no challenge that cannot be overcome.
#6 Pray
This is the most important step of all and governs all the steps above. As spirit beings, we cannot ignore the importance of prayer. Prayer gives us guidance. Prayer gives us direction. Prayer allows the Holy Spirit to take control of the meeting. To touch the heart of the one hearing what you have to say. Ultimately, allow God to be God. Pray before you any of the other steps above.
If this post has blessed you, please share with someone struggling with this issue and heal a heart today!
About The Author
