Depression behind the Pulpit
The role of a pastor is a big call. The pastor though not a ‘God’ to his congregation is one that often carries the burden of his or her members.
I have a friend who was a pastor (or trainee pastor) but was going through a real hard patch in her life with her marriage and a few other challenges. This led to depression. The timing was wrong. Well there is never a good timing for a bad marriage, anyway.
But having a difficult marriage and ministry is a dangerous mix. It is as if the devil knows which buttons to press to shake a ministry.
My friend noted that some of the cutting remarks she received during that horrible ordeal in her life were from friends who could not equate how a pastor could get depressed in the first place. Was she not practicing what she had been preaching. Had it all been a front?
The truth of the matter is that the tale bearing signs of depression are often ignored by pastors and those close to them.
Burnout is often the first sign. But because of the demands of the ministry, one keeps going on till the crash happens. And the landing is often bumpy and causes colossal damage.
It is very important that the spiritual, mental and emotional state of the pastor is not ignored, least of all by him/herself. One thing that a Pastor of those in pastoral ministry should always remember, that first and foremost they are a Christian before a pastor, deacon, and so on.
Who are you?
Ask yourself one question, if there was no ministry, would you still have a life? If the answer is no, then you need to really go back to basics.
Remember you were created to have a fellowship with God. The ministry came as a means to fulfilling a role for the Kingdom.
God needs you to know Him first before you can make others known to Him
Who are your sermons for?
As my friend was asked, (and would be the first question asked in a crisis)…were you practicing or did you even believe what you were preaching? Often, as pastors, the majority of study is for preaching!
This really follows on from the first point. Don’t read the Bible just for what you are going to deliver. Read the Bible for you. Address those areas in your life that need attention…anger, hurt, fear, anxiety.
The words in the Bible are not just for your congregation but for you too. If you did not deal with anger before you became a pastor/worship leader, guess what, you will only just be an angry pastor/worship leader etc.
Let the word you preach work for you. Listen to YOUR own sermons. Often times, God is also speaking to you. The Holy Spirit must have had a hand in preparing the sermon. So did you not think he had something for you? If He did, then put to practice the very words you preached.
Who is the pastor of the pastor?
Fellowship means fellows in a ship. It is important that you continue to fellowship with other pastors.
Who do you call when you yourself need someone to just strengthen you too. Lets not ‘over spiritualize’ being a pastor. Jesus had 12 apostles that hung out with Him a great deal of the time. There were 3 He was particularly close to.
He told His apostles (or the 3) certain secrets and would tell them not to say anything to anyone. Sometimes He spoke in parables to veil what He was saying.
Why?
These apostles were in essence His confidantes. It is good to talk. You must be able to talk and pray with someone in the ministry. You need that encouragement. Remember iron sharpens iron.
Don’t forget the basics
Don’t neglect the basics. Eat well, rest well, exercise and all the other things that others do to stay healthy.
Elijah was fed by the birds because he needed FOOD! He slept like a baby because he needed REST. If you are tired, get sleep. Many pastors go many days and weeks without decent sleep. Don’t do this. Not only will it affect your physical health, it will begin to affect you mentally.
Go to the gym or enjoy a hobby. Time out now and again is so important. Spend time with your family and kids. Enjoy time with them without feeling guilty, without the burden of so called spiritual pressures.
These will help your mental health.
Finally…
Recently, I felt a weight growing in me, I could not place my finger on what precisely it was, but it came as a dark cloud. Subconsciously, I knew I was carrying the burdens of a few people that I was encouraging, counseling and praying for.
I was quick to recognize that this was not me, it was even affecting my sleep…not good! It had to be nipped in the bud. I could not afford to affect the people around me with anything negative in my spirit. Why carry the burden when Jesus Himself had said cast them to Him?
I called a fellow minister and asked them to pray for me. A big weight was immediately lifted and I felt tons better. As quickly as the cloud had descended, it lifted. I got some inspiring messages, I listened to, and boy I had a good sleep that night. I had to practice what I preached!
If I had allowed those negative feelings to fester, it would have been a downward spiral. Who knows where I could have landed?
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