Feeling isolated as a Caregiver
by Matthew Mckenzie
When it comes to mental health stigma we often notice that the person suffering mental health problems can become stigmatized, but there is another side to it. The impact of mental health problems does not just affect the sufferer, but also their families, friends and work colleagues.
The level of impact can vary, but everyone gets affected.
Let me introduce myself, I am a carer from England, south east London. I have been a carer for a close relative for over 12 years and counting. I could have never guessed it would have been me, I would have never guessed that I would be writing this blog and reflecting on my circumstances…
To be honest, I would not have ever thought I would suffer as much as the loved one that I am trying to support and care for.
I have begun to notice how isolated I have become, not only to my friends, but to other family members, my work and also the community.
I have even neglected my own feelings because my concerns have been centred on supporting my close relative who is suffering mental health problems.
Carers tend to put themselves last, its their nature. We try our best to keep that bond strong for those unfortunate enough to hit crisis point; we try to fight for better care, better support and better understanding to get others to see our point of view.
There is conflict between carers and those suffering mental health problems, I cannot deny this! However we all want to see a better outcome where those suffering ill health can recover, unfortunately for some, recovery can be difficult.
So what causes this isolation? Why do carers end up fighting the lonely battle?
It could possibly be because of stigma. Over the many years of being a carer, I can remember so many times I have asked people to visit, friends to pop around and health workers to check in, but there are times when no one visits.
Eventually I ask myself why, why am I alone trying to pick up the pieces. Why am I trying to salvage what’s left of this relationship, after mental illness has broken the bonds of being close to family?
I feel people are too afraid or too upset to see others suffer and I often feel that they may think mental health sufferers are unpredictable. In turn the carer begins to feel this shame, this isolation. The impact of mental health illness is complete.
So what next?
We need to tackle mental health stigma, we need to educate ourselves on what stigma actually is and when we think we know what stigma is, we need to educate ourselves again.
Education alone is not enough, we also must use the education to change our actions. The impact of mental health illness does not only affect the suffer, but their families, friends and eventually the community.
Mental ill health can strike any moment and without warning, if you are a carer of someone suffering mental ill health.
I hope reading my blog post can make you realize you are not alone.
Thanks for reading.
Matthew Mckenzie is Carer’s Representative and Governor of South London & Maudsley Foundation Trust. Visit his blog is http://caringmindblog.com/
The views and opinions expressed in this post are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect all or some of our beliefs and policy. Any links on this page does not necessarily mean they have been endorsed by Defying Mental Illness.
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