Could you be in a clique?
Are you in a clique or are you a group of friends?
Most times, no one really likes cliques except if we are in them or are running them! Cliques can be secretly nestling somewhere in the shadow of your organisation, in your kid’s school, workplace or even church!
Merriam Webster defines a clique as a small group of people who spend time together and who are not friendly to other people.
I personally think sometimes cliques can lead to bullying, i.e. passive bullying. They are the exclusive circles where if the mould does not fit, your membership is rejected. Being made to feel like an outsider can be intimidating and creating a sense of not belonging. Cliques often carry an air of superiority as their focus is maintained on their popularity or even status.
Or sometimes cliques only support one another individually or support only the projects they are running. Any project not run by the clique gets very little response.
Cliques can be intimidating. Especially when they gang up against others. Cliques just make others downright uncomfortable.
Cliques may not welcome new members with open hands
New ‘members’ may be made to feel like outsiders. Now of course, birds of the same feather flock together….which means that people who have common interests and likes will naturally bond and gravitate to each other. So we must be careful how we even define cliques.
However when a group becomes one that rejects or excludes, that group has become a clique sending wrong signals. When the rules of the cliques are unknown then it sure points to exclusivity.
Even in church settings, you may find that you are welcomed with open arms, big smiles, and all the ‘Praise the Lords’ but yet still feel like you were left behind on the other side of the Red Sea! Why? Because of the pockets of cliques. The Master had 12 disciples, but He certainly did not run the group as a clique. But we will leave that for our Sunday Sermons.
In certain cliques, the friendship to each other begins and ends there. They do not make other friends outside their exclusive circle.
Yes there are closed teams or clubs, however. But closed teams are OK with their members being a part of other teams. People who are usually in cliques are not usually in other cliques especially if the clique is within an organisation, work, school and so on.
Cliques may have a strong member(s) that runs things
Is it always the same set of people that do things? Are all the members working together, or is it just a select few or a ring leader controlling the others? Is it an ‘us vs them’ environment? Is the sense of identity based on the strong member(s)?
In a team, everyone’s differences are celebrated. Their identity is maintained thereby enriching the team. In cliques, there may be devoted fellowers who only just do what the clique leader desires. Although this can happen in a team, however for effective teamwork, this is not always a productive team!
Cliques may feel restricting
Sometimes people feel uncomfortable being part of a clique. Some members do not really have a voice in cliques. Cliques may not welcome diversity. Some cliques snub their own members.
The positives
A lot of the time, there is a common mentality in the clique, and in order to remain in that clique you have to assume that mentality. Teams can have a common mentality too however. Churches, clubs and society may have these too. So a shared mentality or view is not necessarily bad. It is the fabric of society most times. However, when opinions, views and ideas are not welcome by any means, then how positive is your contribution, your membership?
In all there can be a fine line between a clique and a tight group or team. But whatever you have, be it a team, group or clique, the keyword is inclusion! If there is inclusion, and if there are no negative activities going on like bullying and so on, if there is teamwork, then celebrate, you are in a great group. Or even clique!
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