Cyber Bullying – It hurts
by Stewart Bint
“Baa Baa Bleat Bleat, have you any bile?
Yes Sir, yes Sir, we spread it all the while.
We take a lie, push it far and wide,
And wash away the truth with the outgoing tide.
Lies and hate we spread ‘til our victims fill with dread,
We care not a jot that justice shall be dead.”
Sounds horrid, is it – the online bully’s national anthem? But that precisely are the effects of cyber bullying.
Cyber bullying is every bit as powerful as physical bullying, and its consequences are just as terrifying.
So what exactly is online bullying?
In the olden days they were known as poison pen letters. Nowadays, they’re largely anonymous posts on Facebook, Twitter and online forums. But they do exactly the same thing: cause pain, distress or offense to someone.
However, there are two big differences between those bygone writers of poison pen letters and these so-called modern “Internet Trolls” who deal in offensive, controversial, or divisive material.
Firstly, the letters were only read by the intended victim, while the work of trolls is visible for the whole world to see.
Secondly, poison pen letters will typically target the recipient’s weak point and may include lies or abusive statements intended to spark a reaction, while trolls are perhaps most notorious for stalking their victims’ social media accounts and harassing them either directly or indirectly.
Social media companies make it easy for anonymous postings, because you only need an email address to set up an account; then you can call yourself anything you like.
The problem is that people on Twitter, Facebook and other social media sites can hide behind anonymity. But, perhaps even more frightening, is the fact that many offensive and hurtful messages are pinged straight to the victim’s mobile phones as text messages.
Close to 90 percent of internet trolls are between the ages of 14 to 21, and most online bullying. It includes stalking and harassment, spreading lies, all which eventually causes havoc on innocent people’s lives. This often spreads from just one perpetrator to a group of bullies.
Online bullies cause stress and intense mental pain – sometimes to the degree that victims resort to self-harm, feel the need to quit social media, and in extreme cases have even died by suicide.
During my five and a half years on Twitter I’ve seen it all, and it pains me to my very core. Instances range from petty squabbles and misunderstandings in – of all things – fandoms of television series (yes there are people who would seriously bully others over their opinions of TV stories??), hurtful comments about people’s physical appearance or mental state, right through to the heights of national politics.
However, what is perceived as bullying, stalking and harassment, can sometimes be the result of completely innocent actions. In the past I have clashed with people who I believed were bullying me, and they believed I was bullying them, simply because of the way I use Crowdfire and hashtags to find people who share my interests.
So do be aware that your own actions, however innocent, may be perceived by others as bullying. It’s when the harassing messages are perpetrated time and again that the actions move from innocent to deliberate.
There are two ways of dealing with online bullying.
Either offer the hand of…well, I won’t say friendship, more the hand of conciliation…or block them from your social media channel and move on with your life, never looking back and never rising to any further bait.
In my case, I tried the olive branch first, as I hate all forms of conflict. I think cyber bullies genuinely believe the things they say about me, despite me showing them how their misconceptions arise. When that failed to resolve the matter…they continued to tweet and subtweet about me…I simply blocked them.
I don’t know if they’re still commenting about me, and I don’t care. One of the marketing requirements for my novels is that I have to search my name on Twitter and the wider internet, and I do see the occasional post perpetrating the original myths about me. But guess what. I IGNORE IT.
And that’s the secret. If you’re being bullied, stalked and harassed online in any way, and you can’t get it to stop, IGNORE IT. And if you happen to stumble across a false and upsetting post about you, IGNORE IT.
As a fiction writer I often find myself trying to get inside my characters’ psyche to see how they would act in a certain situation, and why. I recently had a short story published in an anthology, about a Twitter bully who gets his come-uppance in a particularly grotesque way. My problem was trying to understand what motivated him, so I could accurately portray his bully mentality. It’s a good job I’ve got a powerful imagination!
Have you experienced cyber bullying before? How did you deal with it? What was your experience? Please share this post on your social media to create awareness of cyber bullying!
Stewart wears many hats. An ardent fan of Doctor Who, Stewart is also a writer, has a fast growing Twitter fan base with engaging tweets (mind you!) and is a keen mental health advocate. Behind his smiles and a very caring personality, is a story that will keep you hooked. It is his personal story on mental health.
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