Dating while challenged with Mental Illness
Mental Illness and Dating
Those challenged with mental illness can often feel inhibited when it comes to dating/courting. (We will use the term dating and courting interchangeably and not get into the technicalities of the differences). Is there anything like mental illness and dating?
Those challenged with mental illness fear rejection once the other party learn their ‘secret’.
Many seek to hide it as much as possible. Ultimately this can lead to the dreaded disappointment not just for the mentally ill but also for the one they have been dating/courting.
Undoubtedly, not everyone feels they can handle the pressures, upheavals and other nuances that ultimately come with dating and eventual marriage when mental illness is in the mix. And they must be forgiven. Never hold anything against anyone who does not want to pursue a courting relationship with you just because you are challenged with mental illness. Better a sore heart now than a broken one later.
So what are the rules for dating when you are challenged with mental illness?
#1 Speak to your spiritual leader/pastor/mentor
Whether you are challenged with mental illness or not, this is an advice for every Christian who is first considering dating someone. Talking to your pastor or vicar or mentor is the first vital step. Not only can they offer you spiritual advice, they can also pray with you.
They have spiritual insight and can see potential issues that may arise in any potentail relationship. They are your sixth sense. Have an open heart to take their counsel. If you are comfortable with their counsel on other things, surely they can counsel you on one of the most important issues in life!
#2 Be honest with the other party
Be upfront with whoever you are dating. You may not want to tell the other party on the first date about your mental health issues, but don’t delay spilling the beans after the second or third date. However make sure you are comfortable with the timing and do not feel pressured because that will not help you. The longer you leave it though, the harder it may get. Also, the longer you leave it, the more emotionally involved you become. And they become too! And the more heartbreaking it is for you if they decide not to continue dating you.
This ultimately would not be good for your mental health if the other party decided that they did not want to proceed further. You can’t keep explaining hospital admissions or ‘off’ days as office meetings or family emergencies. Besides these excuses are untruths in effect and eventually the truth will come out. And that would be very messy.
#3 Be positive about yourself
A study by UK mental health charity, Time To Change, says 57% would not date someone with mental illness. So that means there are 43% who would consider it in our estimation! There is always a bright side. Mental illness and dating is indeed possible!
Even if there were 99% who said they would not, remember you could easily be the 1% that someone would choose to date. And why shouldn’t you be?
Even if in the past, several potentials bolted after you told them about your challenges with mental illness, know you are God’s masterpiece. Remember hope is always on your side. See yourself the way God sees you.
As a winner and overcomer.
Have you dated someone that was challenged with mental illness or are currently dating someone who is? Are you challenged with mental illness and currently dating or looking for love? We would love to hear from you!
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