6 Stages to walk out of Disappointment

Haven’t we all had to deal with disappointment at one time of the other?  Lets think about it, who are the people we get disappointed with?

·         Ourselves

·         Our loved ones

·         People we don’t even know well!

·         God

What do we get disappointed with?

·         Mistakes we make

·         Expectations

·         Dreams and wishes

·         Plans

·         Life

Et cetera, Et cetera!

I have had my share of disappointment.  Yes, there are certain expectations I have had of myself or my plans or of others that have not materialised.  At the time, I probably sulked about how unfair life could be.  But now when I look back in hindsight, I often go down on my knees and raise sanctified hands!  

Take for example, one guy I imagined to be so head over heels in love with when I was a teenager.  My, my.  I had dreams of the fairy lifestyle we would have, living happily ever after.  I was allegedly soooo in love with him.

But it was not to be, and thankfully so.  He was not the right man for me.  What was I to know at that age anyway?  He surely did not fit in with the divine plans that were to be for my future.  There is no way I would be doing half of what I am doing now, if I had ended with him.  My life would have taken a wrong detour.

I can look back at all this, with the benefit of hindsight. 

However, sometimes we stay in disappointment and ultimate misery.  Which could have easily been my lot especially as this guy broke my heart into several pieces at the time.  Thankfully so too. 

Yes, we sometimes need to look at life radically and know that all things happen for a reason.  The Bible in fact says all things work together for our good especially for those who love God.  So I know that even my own mistakes which cause me to be disappointed, are all conspiring for my good.   If things don’t happen the way I wish, I must say to myself, and also know that something better awaits me. 

Many people end up in wrong relationships even when they have had several red flags.  Then they get disappointed about marriage and end up full of regret.

When we are disappointed, we must meet that disappointment head on.  Here are 6 stages to work your way out of disappointment:

1  Admit you are disappointed

No use pretending.  You are miserable.  You wish things had not ended they were they are now.  Admit it.  Own up to the fact.  It does not make you a lesser person.

2  Grieve it

Depending on how much that thing or expectation meant to you, it may take you a little while to get over it.  And that is acceptable.  When I say a little while, for goodness sake, I am not talking about months and years.  Please. Don’t stay in this stage for a second longer than necessary if you are to even cry! Remember what we said earlier…it is all working together for your good.  Never forget that…

3 Stop meditating on what might have been

You should now start emerging from the prison you have locked yourself in.  You can’t change the past.  The present is the gift.  The future is the vision.  It did not happen so stop thinking about what could have been, that may not have been anyway.  Sorry, but we have to be brutally honest with ourselves.  Instead look at what can be!

4 Move on

 I remember an aunt once saying to me, every disappointment is an appointment.  At the time, I was ready for no appointment.  But really and true, when disappointment closes one door we must position ourselves to open the window of opportunity.  You have cried.  Now, wipe the tears.  Face the future with a renewed expectation.  Like me, you will one day wake up and think, what was all the fuss about?

5 Be grateful

Sounds like an oxymoron, right?  Being grateful after a disappointment?  But why not?  Be thankful for new opportunities coming your way.  Thank God literally for what He is going to surprise you with.  Grateful and thankful people always attract new and better things.  No one wants to be around misery guts.  So show some gratitude for your escape and smile.

6 Learn from your disappointment

What are the lessons learnt from your last experience?  What can you do to ensure that you do not have a repeat drama performance?  If it ignoring the red flags, make sure you are looking out for even the pink ones.  And if you make the same mistake again, well, don’t beat yourself on the head. 

 Simply go back to step one!

Please share this post with your disappointed friends and family and help them see a better future! 

About The Author

Zoe

Zoe met Eze (Chuck) in the 14th year of what turned out to be an 18 year ‘journey’ with mental illness. They got married less than a year of meeting with Zoe fully knowing Chuck had a diagnosis of mental illness. In the 18th year, Chuck defied the odds of mental illness. A consultant psychiatrist signed him off the mental health system with a bill of NO MENTAL ILLNESS. The consultant was so amazed by Chuck’s astonishing recovery that he even questioned how Chuck was diagnosed with mental illness all those years before, in the first place! Today Chuck is free from medication, its dependency and hospitalizations. Zoe’s award nominated book, DEFYING THE ODDS, chronicles the highs and ‘lows’ of this journey. Zoe, often writing from the standpoint of a caregiver, clearly understands that mental illness does not only affect an individual challenged with the disease, but also families, marriages and society as a whole.

See author's posts