Dealing with Death of a Loved One
A year ago, an extremely close and loved one of mine transitioned from this world to the next. It was unexpected. It was sudden.
And it was very devastating. Truly, truly so.
One minute he was here with us. The next minute, he was gone. Just like that.
I was awakened before midnight or thereabouts to say that he was lying there lifeless. He had gone painlessly and without notice.
I have not spoken much about it to date on this blog site. But not too long after he died, I wrote this post when I was going through the grief process.
In the coming days, weeks and months, I came face to face with dealing with one of life’s toughest blows. And indeed all the things Chuck and I, along with other bloggers had written on this forum helped me tremendously deal with grief. Helped me keep my head above water and overcome the pain without depression or the hopelessness that death of a loved one can bring.
Grief is a very personal issue. And in the next few months, I will share gradually how I have dealt with the very painful feeling knowing you can no longer see or talk to someone who you meant so so much to you.
Today’s blog is short and sweet. I would like to personally thank all those who stood by me and my family during those times when it all happened. Relationships and communication is so important. Being among people who care, who watch out for you and can pray for you, talk to you or just sit there and smile is so important.
One thing that I can say before signing off today, no matter what life throws at you, never shut yourself out. Many times, our thoughts become distorted because of what and how we have been processing the things we dwell on.
In those times that grief became an ally, do not allow thoughts to dominate you. I was never alone with my thoughts for too long. I needed to keep my thoughts healthy. Yes, I cried. Yes, I mourned. But I did not allow my thoughts to overtake me. But that is for another day. And in order to do that, I welcomed the company of others even when I felt like being alone. It was truly healthy for me.
Thank you to:
- The Holy Spirit (You are a constant companion when there is no one around. Death does not seem consistent with your loving nature but the Bible says the last enemy that will be destroyed is death. Till then, you are our Comforter).
- Chuck (Boy, you are truly a great spouse that stood by me)
- My Pastor and my church family (They cooked for us, prayed with and for me and my extended family)
- Relatives and friends (So many visited, called; Some that I had not heard from in so many years!)
- My Defying Mental Illness family (Yes, you guys! I had something to wake up for every morning. I kept blogging. Knowing that you were out there helped me so much even though you did not know what was going on.).
Today, I am living life. I miss my dearest and beloved loved one so much. But I am not consumed with grief or depressed. I can face each day with gusto. Because even when life throws you lemons, one can still make lemonade. Because even when life does not make sense, there is still hope.
And I choose to hold on to that hope.
Till we meet in again, you are always in my heart!
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