Jealousy – Letting go of this negative emotion

One of the ways jealousy comes is  when we feel something we have is threatened.  People are more inclined to think that women are the ones most susceptible to jealousy.  But men can get equally jealous too.

King Saul was so consumed with jealousy so much that it became his favourite pastime.  In the case of King Saul being jealous of David, and the actions that he took as a result,  is a prominent account of jealousy given to us in the Bible.

What would you have done in King Saul’s shoes?  Here was David, son of Jesse,  whom Saul initially loved as a son.  David would play the harp to soothe Saul from his distress.  

But David had saved the children of Israel from Goliath of Gath.   Saul further entrusted him with campaigns against the Philistines with outstanding success.  On the return from one of their campaigns the women were singing praises of Saul having slain thousands and David tens of thousands.  

The women started to praise David more than King Saul!     Saul felt threatened and his long campaign of attempting to kill David is recorded for us in the  First Book of  Samuel (You can start reading from chapter 16).  Yes David’s neck was a campaign for Saul!

Jealousy is a strong emotion that often defies reason.  It comes from fear of loss.

Dealing with Jealousy

##1   Without acknowledging  we are jealous, we cannot deal with it  permanently.  King Saul never accepted he was jealous of David.  He accepted that he was wrong to attempt killing David after David’s response to his actions, but that did not stop him from attempting again shortly afterwards.  

##2  Taking control over our emotions is the first step towards permanently ending jealousy.  Saul only relented in his pursuit of David when David had the opportunity of killing Saul.   Knowing David could have killed him but clearly did not, helped Saul control his emotions immediately afterwards.  

But the rage of jealousy was still boiling within.  It was only matter of time before he was at it again.

##3   Changing how we view events is the next step towards ending jealousy permanently.  This gives us time to stop acting in response to our emotions and do something else.    David’s demonstration  of clear opportunities to kill Saul and David’s restraint changed how Saul viewed things.

##4  Identifying the core beliefs that make us act in a jealous manner will help us in the next step of becoming aware that we were jealous.  It helps us understand that the pictures in our mind coming out of the emotions we feel may be seriously flawed.  

This is different from just the mental knowledge that the pictures are not true but within our spirit; something we refer to as “gut feeling”.

##5  Thinking  more of others helps.  When we think more about others we can deal with jealousy more effectively when it rears its head.   This helps us develop control over our attention, motivating us to consciously choose what pictures play in our mind.

Have you ever acted out of jealousy?  What were your triggers?  Have you ever sought to deal with jealousy? What steps did you take?   Please comment or email us on the contact page.

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About The Author

Chuck

It all started with Eze (fondly called Chuck) fainting at the airport. When he regained consciousness, Chuck found himself in a mental hospital. He was diagnosed with Psychotic Depression. Over time, Chuck was diagnosed with a range of other mental illnesses with the final one being Schizophrenia. Unbeknown to him about this latest record on his medical files, Chuck carried on with day to day living over the next 14 years until he met Zoe. Over the next 4 years, Chuck and Zoe began a journey of faith to defy the odds of mental illness. Today Chuck’s medical records say NO MENTAL ILLNESS. He defied mental illness and is helping others do the same.

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