Handling negative emotions – Envy
Envy comes from when we perceive someone as someone else having something we would dearly love to have. Dealing with this negative emotion is essential for healthy living.
The first case of envy reported to us is the case of Cain and Abel in the Bible. Abel got approval from God when he gave God the first and best of his livestock. Cain had first brought an offering of the fruit of the ground to God which was not respected by God. He became angry and his countenance fell. It is recorded that God asked Cain why he was angry. If he did well Cain would have been accepted. Other considerations come in when he did not do well. God told Cain that sin lay at his door desiring to take Cain but advised that he should rule over it. Unfortunately, the negative emotions that were stirred up took control of Cain and he killed his brother Abel.
Envy dealt with by diverting the emotion to improving ourselves into obtaining that which we seek that another has got ends up not being destructive. Envy does not offer any positive things in our lives, therefore the emotion must be dealt with. Here are a few tips.
##1 Shift your focus onto your blessings
When we experience envy it is a sign that we have begun to think very little of the things that we have in our lives. What we have been blessed with is now of little significance to us. Count your blessings. Name them one by one. You are unique. You are gifted. You are special to someone, especially God – your creator. There is a purpose for your being. Your life is too valuable to be a copy of some else’s. Remind yourself of these facts continually.
##2 Avoid people who habitually hold the wrong values
You do not want to be around people who would influence you in a negative or destructive way. Spending your time with people whose conversations are centered on the latest fashions will get you desiring the latest fashions. If you spend all your time with people who are constantly talking about their possessions you are going to end up comparing yourself to them. There are more important things to dwell on. Therefore remove yourself from their company (and severe the relationship if necessary).
##3 Spend your time with people who are grateful
Cultivate a thankful environment by spending time with people who are grateful for the things they have in life. Thankfulness is highly contagious. The more time that you spend with grateful people the more their attitude becomes yours. You’d be surprised at how soon others desire what you have.
##4 Be generous
Make generosity a vital habit of your life. Even if you have to force yourself at first – make sacrifices for others. Give your time. Give your skills, abilities and talents. Give your finances. As you begin to spend more time and energy with those who have less than you do, the more you will find fulfillment and meaning in your life. When you do, someone else’s lifestyle will not pull you with envy.
##5 Celebrate with others on their successes
Don’t view life as a competition. Genuinely rejoice with others on their successes. Joy is an infinite resource. The day you learn to experience happiness for other people is when you break from envy and jealousy permanently. When you are confident in God’s provision for you, you can maintain your joy under every circumstance. Avoidance of strife is best established by maintaining a joyful countenance at all times.
Have you ever acted out of envy? What made you do it? Have you ever sought to deal with envy? How did you go about it? Please comment or email us on the contact page.
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