Forgiveness and how it impacts well-being

By Bona

Forgiveness means choosing to let go of anger and resentment toward yourself or someone else; it is  to surrender thoughts of revenge and to move forward with your personal power intact. It is also a choice to decide what to do best in life.  So, In this topic, we will see how forgiveness impacts well-being.

Years ago ,I was a victim of abuse and I was heartbroken. Many things happened successively that it was impossible for me to tell anyone even my parents. I kept all to myself and I was living like in prison within me. No-one could have believed me even if spoke. I was in Africa by then. The word abuse was not common. All I knew was that I was severely hurt emotionally and physically. I was broken and devastated.  The abuse continued for a while until I moved to another city for safety . I was unaware that was carrying the hurt within me . I could not bear the shame ,the pain I was going through.

Initial thoughts

In the new city, I tried to forget what they did to me but the thoughts of revenge kept on coming to my mind. I became so tearful. I decided to lock everything within me and not to think about it and carried on as if nothing happened but it was impossible to get rid of these thoughts. I started isolating myself and stopped eating. Negative feelings started controlling me and I could react abnormally to even jokes by friends at work. They would have noticed that my mood and behaviour changed. I was living in my own world. 

In Africa, then, it was normal to abuse. Men had power over all and even rape was not a problem. A victim cannot tell that someone raped her. Nobody talked about. So, I kept quick and no one I could speak to without the person revealing it to someone. It was as if my world was crumbling as I got low self esteem. I carried this weight on abuse for many years. Later, I travelled to the United kingdom to further my studies.

One day, a friend invited me to attend a conference on some issues that affect human beings. Among the issues, they spoke about forgiveness.  I learnt about it . Throughout the conference I made a decision to forgive the people that hurt me. Lack of forgiveness is poisoning self. It creates unhealthy relationships anxiety, depression and anger.

At the end of the show, I decided to approach a member of the team on the high table to talk to her. I opened up to her and she told me the choice to forgive would change my life to the best as I would be free.  The fact that I made up my mind to forgive made an instant difference to me. We exchanged numbers to keep in touch and I went home. She said this me on a text message “Remember that when you forgive , two things happen: you free yourself and free the other person that hurt you”.  I forgave everyone on my list everyday and I felt peace and the feelings of revenge left me. 

Forgiveness means choosing to let go of anger and resentment toward yourself or someone else; it is  to surrender thoughts of revenge and to move forward with your personal power intact. It is also a choice to decide what to do best in life.  So, In this topic, we will see how forgiveness impacts well-being.

It is important to know that forgiveness impacts well-being in the sense that the benefits in it are amazing. People who make a choice to forgive become transformed positively. They are happier to see they are moving forward and upward only. They at peace with themselves and with others. They communicate well with confidence. I have been there and no-one could believe what I went through if I didn’t tell them. 

Renewal

I would not have been who I become today if I had not spoken up. I am a different person and my life keeps on shining and glowing because of the choice I made to myself. I became the one telling people about my story so that others could see that it is possible to change things as they make a choice. I will not stop writing and talking forgiveness because of the impacts in the society. 

As a Christian now , I become the voice to those who are going through similar situations by sharing what I have achieved by forgiving.

Forgiveness is actually linked to mental and physical health outcomes and can improve them significantly. The evidence through my experience could demonstrate it how I went from a broken hearted lady to a metamorphosed woman who is now  at peace. I went from stress, fear, toxic anger , lack of sleep, anxiety and stiffness of muscles to an energetic, relaxed ,happy and a beautiful woman filled with confidence . Let’s forgive and forget to reach out to others. We must not keep quiet.

These are issues in mental health and therefore have severe consequences on human beings.  I knew that it was time for me to forgive in order to move on forward and grow. I made a choice as I could not carry on poisoning myself. 

Forgiveness

Forgiveness is vitally important for the mental health of those who have been hurt. As we forgive, it elevates mood, enhance optimism and guard from stress anxiety, anger depression . Forgiveness can also  lower the risk of heart attacks, improve sleep, reducing  pain and blood pressure. It can even  lead to feelings of understanding empathy and compassion for the one who hurt you. Forgiveness brings a kind of peace that helps you go on with life.

Benefits

There are huge rewards for your health as forgiveness restore positive thoughts feelings and behaviour as well as it embraces peace , hope , gratitude and joy. It can lead someone down the path of physical and emotional and spiritual well being. 

It is important to know that forgiveness impacts well-being in the sense that the benefits in it are amazing. People who make a choice to forgive become transformed positively. They are happier to see they are moving forward and upward only. They at peace with themselves and with others. They communicate well with confidence. I have been there and no-one could believe what I went through if I didn’t tell them.

I would not have been who I become today if I had not spoken up. I am a different person and my life keeps on shining and glowing because of the choice I made to myself. I became the one telling people about my story so that others could see that it is possible to change things as they make a choice. I will not stop writing and talking forgiveness because of the impacts in the society. 

Evidence

Forgiveness is actually linked to mental and physical health outcomes and can improve them significantly. The evidence through my experience could demonstrate it how I went from a broken hearted lady to a metamorphosed woman who is now  at peace. I went from stress, fear, toxic anger , lack of sleep, anxiety and stiffness of muscles to an energetic, relaxed ,happy and a beautiful woman filled with confidence . Let’s forgive and forget to reach out to others. We must not keep quiet.

In Summary

I will not end this write up without giving an example of how I helped a lady In my place of work who told me how her ex husband broke her heart by sleeping with her cleaner who later became his wife. She swore over her life not to forgive him. I kept on helping her through the process of making a choice to forgive.

I told her my story and she could not believe what I went through such horrible issues and still standing strong and beautiful. She could not imagine my age. She was shocked about my transformation. I encouraged her to think about what she was still going through despite her divorce with her children. After few weeks, she made up her mind to forgive her husband. She told me how was sleeping very well and that her appetite changed. Speaking up to find solution is also a therapy that heals inner wounds and pains.

Author Bio

Bona is a freelance writer who has a great deal of interest on this topic. Soon to be published author

 

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