Forming Friendships with the Mentally Ill

Forming friendships with the mentally ill has its challenges.  A lot of people do not know how to relate with the mentally ill.  When I was mentally ill, my friends were not aware of my state of health.

People find it easier forming friendships when they do not know much about someone’s mental health. A few work colleagues had the irritating manner of a weird stick out of their tongue. This was a reminder of their perception of me.

Once people become aware of your mental health status, it is rare that their attitude does not change. Amazingly, if it is another aspect of health, like physical health,  more support is often on offer.

There were a couple of my close friends that I had met before issues with mental health who stayed unchanged afterwards.  They supported me through moments of crisis.

Zoe was to tell me later of a friend of hers who also had mental health crises.  The mum of this friend would marvel how Zoe was the only friend that hung around during crises!  A few people do feel threatened being around the mentally ill.

I very much appreciated my friends that stayed around during my crises. I often did not recognise anyone for up to two days when I suffered psychosis. However, bed rest and company often meant quick recovery.  The friends and family that were around during this period were never judgmental. Neither did their attitude to me change.

Self-esteem is very important to us all. Help your friend that is challenged with mental illness to focus on activities and issues that build up their self-esteem. Let us not forget that most of the time, anyone so challenged carries out life’s activities as normal.

Zoe and I were friends before our relationship developed further.   She guided the focus of conversations we had away from unproductive regrets to tasks we both got something from.  Teaching or sharing something you know has a way of enriching you as well as the other party.

Talking to the issues rather than talking about the issues makes for healthier relationships.  I am sure we all want to be the best we can be.  Anyone helping us along those lines can only be seen in the best of light.

I too was later to become friends with a young man who was diagnosed with learning disability.  I had much to share because now someone else was on the other side of the coin.  Always giving him a willing ear built his confidence around me.   That is what someone with mental difficulties or challenged with mental illness wants.  Often someone to be there for them!

Have you supported a friend through mental illness?  How did you help him or her?

About The Author

Chuck

It all started with Eze (fondly called Chuck) fainting at the airport. When he regained consciousness, Chuck found himself in a mental hospital. He was diagnosed with Psychotic Depression. Over time, Chuck was diagnosed with a range of other mental illnesses with the final one being Schizophrenia. Unbeknown to him about this latest record on his medical files, Chuck carried on with day to day living over the next 14 years until he met Zoe. Over the next 4 years, Chuck and Zoe began a journey of faith to defy the odds of mental illness. Today Chuck’s medical records say NO MENTAL ILLNESS. He defied mental illness and is helping others do the same.

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