How to Speak to Your Boss About Your Decision to Seek Treatment
by Tim Stoddart
Deciding to get treatment for alcohol and/or drug dependency is a huge step.
It requires planning, being honest with yourself, and figuring out logistics—but so does talking to your boss about seeking treatment.
For many ‘addicts’, it’s this part of the process that can be especially challenging. Being honest with yourself and your loved ones presents its own set of obstacles.
However, you know at your core that your friends and family love you, support you, and want more than anything for you to get the help you deserve.
But your boss? They might (or might not) care about you and support you. Perhaps they do want you to get help, but at what cost? Will you have a job when you return, and is that even something you can ask?
The answer is that it depends. It depends on your job, your boss, and perhaps the state you work in. It depends on the type of treatment and how long you may be out of work or on a flexible work schedule.
For instance, if you’re seeking outpatient treatment that won’t interfere with your job, you may decide it’s in your best interest to not tell your boss at all. If you’re pursuing an in-patient route, of course this will require a frank discussion with your boss and maybe an HR representative.
How your company decides what type of leave this is depends on a number of factors including federal and state laws as well as the company regulations. Some companies have very generous leave practices, particularly for mental health. Keep in mind that addictions are a disease, and often qualify under mental health regulations.
Working with the therapists at your treatment center can help you formulate a plan to talk with your boss about your treatment (if necessary). In some cases, they may also act as a mediator.
When a person is already afraid to get sober and uncertain about treatment, the stress over talking to their boss can push them back into the cycle of defeat.
You already know that it’s impossible to continue to live (and work) as an addict. Foregoing a chat with your boss will only delay the inevitable. If seeking treatment will impact your work, it’s time to schedule a meeting and get down to business.
Here’s how to prepare:
- Know the rules. You can research the laws and company policies yourself, but it’s always a good idea to ask a third party to review them, too. This is where a therapist or perhaps an employment attorney can help.
- Bring notes of points to cover. Even if you have a good rapport with your boss, these kinds of talks can be overwhelming. You don’t want to forget any points or fail to remember key information (such as dates you’ll be gone). Have everything written down and well prepared for this meeting.
- Have an HR representative at the meeting if possible. If your company has an on-site HR department, it’s best to have someone from that department in on this meeting. You need to protect yourself, and a one-on-one can end up with misinterpretations. HR employees are un-biased and know all the ins and outs of company and legal policies.
- Remember that you’re doing something brave, not something that requires apologies. Resist the urge to apologize for seeking treatment—it’s not something that requires an apology. Just like you wouldn’t apologize for a hospital stay for a broken leg, the same logic applies. Plus, it’s possible that this will be considered a medical leave.
- Resist any offers to “work remotely.” It might seem like a great middle ground, but full-time treatment can’t be tackled with a part-time approach. Remote work should only be considered if you’re in a part-time treatment program and will only be missing a few hours of work.
You have to put yourself first at this moment. However, your boss is balancing putting employees and the company first.
If a resolution cannot be met, it’s still critical to remember that your sobriety is a top priority. Still, know the laws and have professionals in your corner to advocate for you if you suspect your boss is not following the law (such as laying you off or firing you).
A primary concern for many in this situation is eligibility for health leave, which should be discussed with an HR representative and/or attorney, not necessarily your boss.
Bio: Tim Stoddart is the Co-Founder and President of Sober Nation.
The views and opinions expressed in this post are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect all or some of our beliefs and policy. Any links on this page do not necessarily mean they have been endorsed by Defying Mental Illness.
Note: HR laws and regulations may vary according to the country where you live. Nonetheless, this post is a helpful step in paving the way for progress in your workplace.
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