Interview with Author and Mental Health Advocate Stewart Bint – 2
Last time, we had author and mental health advocate, Stewart Bint tell us in no uncertain words about his journey of mental health. It was a very heartfelt story and we were certainly blessed by it here at Defying Mental Illness (DMI). We need more people like Stewart Bint to share their story! One way of winning and defying mental illness is when we can speak about our experiences and learn from each other.
DMI: So Stewart, it is nice having you again with us here. I felt your story had so many angles to it… Here was a young man who had everything going for him (and still does!). However, life threw a curved ball, just when you were at the peak of your career. You had a high powered job, climbing the corporate ladder fast. You were happily married with young kids.
Pressures meanwhile were building up at work. At the same period, you went through the loss of some very important people in your life. It all got too much for you and thankfully you reached out for help, one destined day in 1997. And the Samaritans were able to save your life. So where did we leave off last time? You were talking about being sectioned.
Tell us a little bit more about what ‘being sectioned’ is all about.
SB: My life was at rock bottom. I never thought I’d work again. In fact at one point I never thought I’d leave hospital.
Being sectioned under the UK Mental Health Act meant I no longer had a choice about being in hospital. I was detained there against my will.
I have no memory of the first two weeks of being sectioned, but I am told I managed to run away from the hospital twice. During the whole time I was sectioned, and for a couple of weeks afterwards I was “specialed,” meaning a nurse was assigned to never be more than six feet away from me.
I was heavily medicated all the time, one of the drugs being lithium.
While the treatment initially involved breaking down my conviction that I was responsible for my father-in-law’s death, and that I needed to kill myself to atone for it, the psychiatrists discovered I had suppressed memories from my childhood which became repressed (or was it the other way round…I can’t remember now?).
It had all begun when my dad died just days before we heard I had passed the 11+ examination to go to Grammar School. Also, it had been decided at that time that I was too young to go to his funeral, so I never had the chance to say goodbye to him.
With everything in the open I was on my way to recovery.
DMI: That is a very key point about being able to deal with issues you had kept hidden in your heart for years. Unresolved issues. I always liken it to being in a pressure cooker. So with those issues unearthed, the journey to recovery began. There was like a kind of closure…
So, meanwhile, tell us what else what happening? Were you ‘still employed’ at the time, and how did your boss and employers take the news?
SB: As mentioned before, my boss and my company were totally unsympathetic. It was through them that I experienced the worst stigma.
When I was first admitted to hospital, my company’s medical insurance paid their bills, which were £2,000 a week, but my boss and Human Resources Director insisted those payments would stop a month after I was dismissed for my illness.
However, when the Group MD learned of the severity of my illness, he arranged for the company’s private medical insurance to take care of the private clinic’s bill for the entire duration of my stay.
DMI: Stewart, you are going to have to tell us more on stigma and the workplace another time. Telling your boss one has mental illness can be really difficult because of stigma and thankfully things are changing…and continue to change through stories like this.
Now with the benefit of hindsight, what can you say about recognising the signs, helping and supporting families who are suddenly faced with a diagnosis?
SB: Recognising the signs I mentioned above is vital. So is doing something about them. Accepting that you need help is the first step towards fighting the battle. In my case I struggled on without telling anyone for far too long. And by then it was too late for a simple recovery. My mind wasn’t simply damaged before I accepted something was wrong and rang the Samaritans, it was broken. Support is equally vital, both from health professionals and family.
In theory, most patients in the UK should start the treatment they need in as little as 6 weeks, with a maximum wait of 18 weeks. And for many patients experiencing their first episode of psychosis, the NHS should start to provide treatment within 2 weeks of referral. But it doesn’t always work that way!
Also, it’s not only the patient who needs support, particularly if it’s their first experience of mental illness. Everything is equally confusing to the patient’s family, and they are having to rely more and more on mental health charities.
I have supported this cause for 18 years…indeed, I am currently working with my local branch of the Mind charity on creating a new fund-raising event. And I have recently started to promote mental health awareness on the internet, in particular on Twitter, which is a terrific way of raising awareness.
DMI: Yes indeed, I can second that, today, you are creating a big shout about mental health. How can we bring more awareness and education about mental illness, and dealing with stigma?
SB: Awareness and education is an ongoing process, and must focus on the fact that mental health is no different to physical health. Both have symptoms, both can be treated.
Mental health charities, local government and national government should work together to end the stigma. It’s not going to be accomplished overnight.
In the dim and distant past, people with mental illness were locked away in asylums, out of sight of “normal” people. This is where stigma surrounding mental illness began.
The way to eradicate that stigma is for everyone at every level of both mental illness suffering and treatment to be more open and honest. Psychiatric hospitals need to open their doors to the media, in the same way that those suffering from mental illnesses are now becoming more open by sharing our stories.
Social media is proving to be an absolute gem for this. It’s giving us all a platform to share our story and offer support to others. It is a positive, empowering tool, connecting us with others who can support us through the difficult times, by our first hand knowledge and experience.
Yes, social media also has a darker side with people posting unhelpful comments. I used to care what people thought about me and what they said. But no longer. Simply ignoring negative comments works for me. And I believe that’s the secret, not only of handling how stigma is perpetrated by the darker side of social media, but coping with the stigma in the “real” world, too.
You can’t make everyone see the truth. So don’t try too hard. Enjoy the successes you have, and your family, friends and online supporters. And ignore the negative comments.
In my opinion, once diagnosed with a mental illness, one way to progress along the road to recovery, is through coping strategies. A good coping strategy means we can all better manage our day-to-day challenges without constant input from mental health professionals who play a major role at the beginning of our illness.
Once I was discharged from hospital my coping strategy became all about casting off the things I no longer needed in my life, including corporate success and the stress that comes with it. I returned to my first love of writing, and now work as a novelist and Public Relations writer, and I have my own fortnightly magazine column!
To me, coping strategies are highly personal, and you need one for every situation that can cause difficulty. For example, I realised that if I were to continue seeking perfection in my work and myself, I was destined to fail, and would likely face an even longer spell as a hospital in-patient. So my coping strategy for that was to accept compromise, both from myself and other people.
Whenever a deadline approaches I ask myself what is the worst that can happen if I don’t meet it? Occasionally I need to burn the midnight oil, but in the olden days it was a daily occurrence. For several years I have got on with my life and not consciously employed coping strategies, because they have become second nature to me. I’m actually using them all the time…it’s just that I’m no longer aware of them.
I hope my story will inspire and give confidence that there is hope. I’ve managed to build a successful new life from the ruins of my old one!
DMI: What a story, Stewart. Thank you so much for sharing this. We would love to have you here again with us. Please keep doing what you are doing. And lets follow Stewart on Twitter too. He is fully out there in shouting out the message on mental illness awareness!
Please share this story on your social media. Stewart has highlighted above how we can get our stories out there through social media. Also make sure you follow Stewart too on Twitter. Click the link here!
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