Mended

By Tonya King

I was doing everything right. I was taking my meds as I was supposed to but, Wow! Did I run off the rails. I knew it, my family knew it, anyone within a 50-foot radius would have known it. No matter what I did, I couldn’t slow myself down. My thoughts were on fast forward, my spending was a bit uncontrolled, and I was the happiest person one would ever meet. But why? I knew the answer. A new medication.
I was put on a medication for nerve pain resulting from an injury that happened four years ago. I was on a heavy dose, but I didn’t take it because it made me feel like I was under water. A bit out of control. Well, I was having a horrible time with my pain and I took the medication, as directed, but it sent me into a mania. I was so “up”. It was ridiculous. I spent the day running from place to place, smiling, shopping, laughing. My speech was pressured and fast, my thoughts scattered, I was losing control. And then, I stopped the medication and as quick as I went up, I came down.
I was so very tired. The mania only lasted one day, but by Saturday morning, I felt as if I was trudging through sand trying to get a foot hold. I didn’t want to slip into a depression which usually follows a crash. I talked to my daughter on the phone early Saturday morning and I told her I was just trying to get a grip on myself.

Later in the day, she came over, and brought me flowers (so sweet) because she said I sounded so sad on the phone. Apparently, my voice gave away my feelings. By the afternoon, I was feeling fine. No sign of a depression, no excessive tiredness that lasted all day. I was pretty much back to myself.

But, do you know what I did to bring myself back to center? I prayed! And I prayed hard. My God was the only one who could restore me. I needed His help. I knew form past experiences that when I crash off a mania, it can take a month or more to get back to a level place. I didn’t have that kind of time. I was supposed to begin babysitting my new Grandson on Monday. I had to get better and quick and I knew the only way to do that was to spend some serious time in prayer and meditation.

Prayer and meditation are always my go to’s when I feel out of control. The LORD restores me, he breathes peace and calmness into my spirit and calms my anxious heart. I went into my prayer room around 8:00 am and by noon I was feeling great. My God is so good. And He will be good to you as well.

If you feel out of control, depressed, upset, anxious, anything at all, take it to God. Allow Him to do for you what He did for me. Give Him the space and a surrendered heart and He will heal and restore. I’m not only speaking of your illness, I am also speaking about your life. If there is anything that you need to surrender and leave at the cross, don’t waste time, do It and do it quickly.

There is no need to suffer needlessly because you cannot find it in yourself to surrender. Surrender is where we find healing. Give Him your brokenness, your pain, your unmet expectations. Whatever is weighing you down. He can handle it and hold you up.

He will always be there, waiting for you to come and be vulnerable. He heals, and He loves like no other. Give Him all of you and I am pretty sure you will be mended and made whole.

Tonya King is a Writer, Speaker and Mental Health Coach. She is the
founder of Faithful in the Midst ministries
which is a ministry devoted to the healing and wholeness of mental illnesses
through faith in Jesus Christ. 

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