When Mental Illness Strikes Your Friend
So what would you do if your friend is diagnosed with a serious mental illness such as schizophrenia or bipolar?
Would that mark the end to a good friendship? Or would you hang around…for a while? Would you think the friendship becomes a little unbalanced or strained because all your efforts and energies seems to be directed in helping your friend recover?
Questions, questions. However, with 1 in 4 people diagnosed with mental illness in the UK, USA and other places, mental illness is more common than we think.
The movies will try to portray a good life as having the perfect family, nice house, white picket fence and good friends. That the ones that are labelled ‘psycho’ or ‘deranged’ are the criminals of society; the loner, the one that had no friends. However this is rather unfair and does not create a particularly balanced picture of the realities of mental illness.
Your friend is still the person they were before they had the diagnosis. Even if their behavior is altered or they have become unrecognisable or distant, the heart of the person still remains the same.
It is no different from the friend who has just rang you and told you the have received a physical health diagnosis. The same compassion we show towards the latter is what we need to direct to the former.
When Mental Illness Strikes Your Friend Bear In Mind The Following:
##1 Do not reject your friend at this most needed time.
Mental illness can be scary and intimidating. Sometimes the one challenged is not even aware they are ill. If everyone decides to leave stage exit left, the situation for them becomes even more isolating.
##2 It is good to talk
Relationships are important. Everyone needs someone to talk to. Your friend may not ‘be with you’. They may not be talking sense. However, your familiar voice and your kind tone may go a long way. Remember what we always say, words, are important. Create a positive atmosphere around by speaking kindly to them. Do not condescend or speak words that create show ignorance …or lack of undertanding; ie. the S word – stigma!.
##3 Get knowledge
Try to understand what they may be going through. Get relevant information and arm yourself with knowledge. Learn how to deal with them, offer help and recognize any alarming signs.
##4 Maintain their dignity
A friend in need is a friend indeed. Do not expose their nakedness. Keep their dignity. Do not be the town crier, the BBC or CNN broadcaster, announcing to everyone what has happened!
##5 Pray
Every study (scientific, medical and otherwise), I have ever read, with regards to the efficacy of prayer always highlights the benefits of prayer. There is no situation to hopeless that cannot be dealt with. A good friend does not gossip. Make sure that your motive behind ringing someone to ‘join you in prayer for so and so’ is not a means of opening conversation lines with regards to your friend!
As always there are lots of things we can do, but we will leave those 5 points for today. Please share your comments below. Thank you!
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