Why you Should Never Give Up – Lessons I Learnt from Chuck

Some people like Chuck (!) seem to have more tenacity than a pit bull terrier.   If they grab on to something they will cling on that thing till death do part.  They seem to be born with that never give up mindset.  They don’t take NO for an answer.  In fact NO for them stands for New Opportunity. 

Secretly we admire them. ( Yes, Chuck, I admire you.  I paid my subscription to your fan club at the start of the year). We want to be like them or wish we had the bottle to be so. 

But the truth is we all have it inside us.  When I look at Chuck, I am sometimes in so much awe of his tenacity. 

How can a man who has been on the mental health system for 14 long years still dare not just to think but to also say that one day it will all end?  How is it even possible?  Giving up would have seemed reasonable.  If things had not worked for 7, 10 or 14 years, why should they work now? 

The odds were stacked against him. 

He was older for one and in today’s world that tell us that opportunities are for the young, well…   Then, the only option medical advances were offering him was a lifetime on medication. 

Having been married to Chuck for a few good years, I think I am in a position to say these are what I have learnt from him!

Why you should never give up:

##1  You are much stronger than you think  

Challenges push us to realize who we truly are.

If you should meet Chuck, he is one quiet, softly spoken, easy going individual.  Yet Chuck proved he was no pushover when it came to getting what he wanted!  To be free from medication and to have a clean bill of health.  He was much stronger than people thought!  And he discovered too how far he could go.

##2  If you don’t try you will never know what may have been the outcome

What if Chuck had just accepted the status quo?  The outcome would never have been where he is today for sure.  He could have either stayed the same, improved slightly at best or even got worse.

##3  You have come too far to give up  

Think of all the trophies of the past.   Chuck had 14 years of lows…and some highs.  His trophies may have seem few and far between but he had come too far in life to say NO.  One mighty trophy was that he had been progressing in his career.  Though not as far as he should have been, it was still a medal to be recognized.

##4  What do you have to lose?

What did he have to lose by speaking positive faith filled words?  What did he have to lose by meditating?  What did he have to lose by taking steps to his ‘healing’?

##5  People often regret what they did not do, not the mistakes they make

Chuck at 85 may have looked back at these times and said ‘What if?’.  Yes, there were attempts to abruptly end his medication which was not pleasant, but he simply dusted himself, got up and maintained his words and affirmations of what he wanted to see.

##6  The one that tried and ‘failed’ is always ahead of the one who never tried at all

Imagine if you never made a mistake how little you will know!  Each ‘failed’ attempt Chuck made was a lesson for the next step towards recovery.  Obviously, we are not advocating taking ill fated, unreasonable steps that endanger lives. 

Chuck knew when to resort to medication when the ‘pressures’ seemed bigger than his faith at the time.  He also had a good support system i.e. MOI!  (that is me in French).   But those pressures were the stepping steps to the next and higher level in attaining his dream of being free.    Those pressures became his minimum ‘faith’ level for the next crisis.

##7  The darkest hour is before dawn

There were pretty much some tough times.  It seemed at times the more Chuck tried, the harder it got.  Of course, the contrary winds will howl at you.  When they do, howl back.  Refuse to be intimidated.  Encourage yourself with the right words. 

And if you are prepared for the darkest hour, and you recognise it as such, dawn is only a few hours away.  Remember from dawn it is still half dark.  That means the challenge may persist (in a reduced form).  But when you know that the midday sun is coming, you will gather momentum not to give up.

Because that is what Chuck did!  Kudos to you Chuck.  You will get next year’s fan club subscription.

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About The Author

Zoe

Zoe met Eze (Chuck) in the 14th year of what turned out to be an 18 year ‘journey’ with mental illness. They got married less than a year of meeting with Zoe fully knowing Chuck had a diagnosis of mental illness. In the 18th year, Chuck defied the odds of mental illness. A consultant psychiatrist signed him off the mental health system with a bill of NO MENTAL ILLNESS. The consultant was so amazed by Chuck’s astonishing recovery that he even questioned how Chuck was diagnosed with mental illness all those years before, in the first place! Today Chuck is free from medication, its dependency and hospitalizations. Zoe’s award nominated book, DEFYING THE ODDS, chronicles the highs and ‘lows’ of this journey. Zoe, often writing from the standpoint of a caregiver, clearly understands that mental illness does not only affect an individual challenged with the disease, but also families, marriages and society as a whole.

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