Stuck & Not Moving Forward? Read this!

Sometimes, it seems we are stuck in the mud.  We don’t seem to be moving.  When we do, it seems we move one step forward and several steps back.  We end up upset and frustrated.  We try everything to just press ahead and don’t achieve much.

Why?

The truth is if we keep doing the same thing, we will keep getting the same results.  

Of course, there are some things that we need to keep doing, like not giving up on something that we want to achieve, pressing on with our health and so on.  We can’t get out of that race!

However, there are things that need to CHANGE.

I have discovered a common language of frustrated people who are not moving forward.  Let’s take a look:

1  Stop chronic complaining

Complain is one of the biggest stumbling blocks, if not the biggest stumbler for progress.

Show me a chronic complainer, and you have shown me…
a) a frustrated person
b) someone who is not moving forward

They will tell you they complain because they are not moving forward.  And then they don’t move forward and complain.  One feeds on the other.

Decide today to stop the complaining.  It is a disease.  Heal yourself from it.  And you will see life coming back to a lot of things you thought were dead.  What you did not realise was that your own words were speaking death to a lot of situations and your destiny!

2 Change your view… Look ahead

When we are not moving forward, it is because we are looking at the wrong mirror.  We keep looking at the rear mirror (that small window), instead of the windscreen (the big window).

Change your view.  It takes more energy to swivel your head and look back.  Look ahead.

You can’t rewrite the pages of your past.  You can edit the pages of your present.  You can write the pages of your future.

3 Stop looking for answers to life’s questions that no one knows

There are some questions we would never get the answer to.  The more you keep looking for the answer, the more likely you become depressed and if anything else, holds you back.

Why your birth mother refuses to see you even after you have spent years tracking her down, no one knows.  Why was the baby stillborn?  Why did your wife leave you?   You may never know.  Why this, why that?  What if this, what if that? If only this, if only that!

There are painful things that happen but you got to stop the torture to yourself. There are some answers to questions we just have to reserve for when we leave this earth.  But you have to realize if you keep seeking the answer, you are putting your life on hold, and probably also ruining your relationship, even marriage.

4 Come out of your comfort zone

The comfort zone is so lovely, we often want to stay there.    We want more money but we are not prepared to do what it takes.  The job pays the bill but we are not prepared to take the plunge.

Your boss is mean and you dread Monday mornings, but you can’t be bothered about applying for jobs.  Net effect, you stay put…until retirement or maybe you are made redundant, which may be the push you need!!!

5  Seek knowledge

If we do not know what it takes to get to the next level, how are we going to press ahead.  If you don’t know how to get on the housing ladder, how can we start taking the necessary steps.

Become an expert in that thing you desire.  Network with people who are already there.  

6  Ask for help!

Learn to ask questions.  Learn to ask for help…often we don’t want to ask for help.  You must read this excellent post on why we don’t like asking for help.  

I remember when I was at uni, I quickly discovered there were some guys who were really good in a particular subject.  They had their own cliques mainly because they were foreign students and also because of language barriers.  

Everyone was intimidated to ask them questions, yet these were the guys getting top scores.  I literally bulldozed my way into their clique whenever I got stuck, ignoring any stares or looks on their face.  I knew what I wanted…to pass and get to the next year.  

When I got my answers from them, guess what happened?  All my friends wanted to know the answer.  I pointed them in the direction of the clever guys…after all, none of them had 2 heads!

About The Author

Zoe

Zoe met Eze (Chuck) in the 14th year of what turned out to be an 18 year ‘journey’ with mental illness. They got married less than a year of meeting with Zoe fully knowing Chuck had a diagnosis of mental illness. In the 18th year, Chuck defied the odds of mental illness. A consultant psychiatrist signed him off the mental health system with a bill of NO MENTAL ILLNESS. The consultant was so amazed by Chuck’s astonishing recovery that he even questioned how Chuck was diagnosed with mental illness all those years before, in the first place! Today Chuck is free from medication, its dependency and hospitalizations. Zoe’s award nominated book, DEFYING THE ODDS, chronicles the highs and ‘lows’ of this journey. Zoe, often writing from the standpoint of a caregiver, clearly understands that mental illness does not only affect an individual challenged with the disease, but also families, marriages and society as a whole.

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