When Others are Insanely Jealous of You
We have looked at that green eyed monster called jealousy in relation to dealing with us being jealous of our friends. Admitting you are jealous, means you are prepared to deal with the emotion…we hope 🙂
But when others are jealous of us and we know they are jealous of us, one would think the issue is their problem and not ours. In other words, leave them to deal with it; if they choose to continue, they can go ahead and be eaten by jealousy.
But that is where we are wrong. When others are jealous of us, insanely so, it can affect us. Because some people can allow themselves to be so consumed by jealousy, they start doing mean and even evil things towards us.
In the Bible, there was a typical example of a king called Saul, jealous of a young teenager, David. Imagine a grown man insanely jealous of a boy that he could easily father. Saul went all out and was so eaten by jealousy. Till the day he died, he tried earnestly to kill David.
Someone may not be trying to kill you (we hope), but they may be killing other things:
- Your joy
- Your destiny e.g. career prospects if your boss is jealous of you
- Your confidence
- Your character (in other words, jealousy makes you resentful and even hateful)
- Your reputation (This because they may be spreading hate towards you)
- Your relationship not just with them but with others too! (People’s view of you may change by what they hear)
- Etc etc
In other words, you can end up feeling down, even depressed.
So what can you do?
##1 Stay the course
You got to make up your mind, that you will not change YOU or anything about YOU simply because people are jealous of you. Yes, the issue is to do with them, but why should that change you?
If toxic people see they cannot control you, then they try to control how others see you. In the Bible, Saul got his supporters to rise up against David. It was so bad, he ended up living in a cave at one time as the whole army that was against him were seeking his blood!
Remain focused and the truth will be found out. Lies have a funny way of coming out somehow in the end. See how many lies and cover ups that have been hidden for decades, eventually come out. So stay the course
##2 Do not retaliate
Jealous people, especially those controlled by it in a horrible way, can be very hateful. They can do this openly or in a hidden way.
Not too long ago, I found out how someone was going round talking behind my back, trying to rally ‘supporters’ about something they were clearly not happy about.
In fact, every time the said person would talk to me, there was so much anger in their tone and expression. They just could not hide it, boy! The rally of supporters was cleverly but at the same time poorly done. However, the very people that the person was trying to ‘recruit’ to be on their side, were all individually telling me what the person was saying. Even children was inadvertently letting me in. It was hurtful at worse and pathetic at best.
The best thing was either to be hateful back, try to be defensive, or just not retaliate. I chose the latter. What made the situation precarious, was the person had influential people as friends. It made no sense trying to prove anything to anyone. I let things roll, and as they say, let God fight this battle.
After all, I was not jealous of them, so all I needed to do was show my worth by choosing to pretend like I did not know what was going on.
By ignoring their comments, showed that I was not validating their views. I was not going to stoop low enough to start getting into what I termed as senseless nonsense. I knew who I was, the individual was the one with an identity issue.
With David and Saul’s story, not once did David say a word in retaliation concerning Saul. In fact, he would stick up for a man who had for no reason made David his enemy. David never sought revenge.
Revenge never makes anyone feels better. In fact, one study showed how revenge increases not decreases your anger!
Just don’t retaliate and give it attention. Focus on those that value you instead. And that was precisely what I had to do to move forward.
##3 Help them if they can be helped
Jealousy can be perceived as a compliment to yourself. It tells you there is something that you have or are doing that someone would love to have or do. Who after all was ever jealous of a poor, foolish person?
You can help a consuming jealous person by firstly praying for them. A Christian should always see the best in others even when they show you their worse. Also you must realize that in praying for them, it helps you too; calms you down.
How? It is difficult to pray for someone who has hurt you or who you’d rather revenge! You can’t pray for someone you don’t like. So in praying for them, you keep hate at bay yourself.
Next, see if you can talk to them. Reason with them. Give it sufficient time, but if you can, talk to the individual, especially if the person is a friend or someone close. They may not realize how far they have taken things. Or they may be really having a difficult time dealing with jealousy that perhaps is unintentional.
If the person is not open to dialogue or willing to change however, you do not need to hang around them.
But never bring yourself to the low level of hate and contempt, whatever you do.
One day, perhaps, they will see the light and be set free from their caged world of jealousy.
Please share this post with a friend who is having issues with jealousy!
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