When Others Make You Feel Small

Like it or not, there are times when others do things to us that rub us the wrong way.  For example, they make us feel small or insignificant. 

And that can be very hurtful.  Especially when you have not done anything to deserve their belittling or worse all you have done is shown kindness.

Sometimes it is your boss or someone in a higher authority.  

But guess what?  It is part and parcel of life.  We can’t go around life trying to get people to like us or agree with us.

So what can do you.  Retaliate?  Act out in anger or be vindictive? No, no and no!

But you can do the following:

##1  It is all about perspective

I was reading this the other day…  Can’t remember where I read it though, so there may a bit of paraphrasing going on here. 

Someone took his son up a skyscraper.  He asked his son to identify the tall and short people. 

But far above where there where, everyone looked like ants.  You could not tell who was tall, fat, thin or small, poorly or well dressed. 

Obviously you could distinguish the different people the closer you got to ground.

So it is all about perspective.    A toddler sees a 4 ft person as tall.  To a 6 ft, that same 4 ft person is short!

So if someone is making you feel small, remember it is about their ‘wrong’ perspective!

##2 Don’t try to prove yourself

Don’t justify yourself, especially to people who make you feel small. 

Even the religious leaders of His day tried to make Jesus feel like He was small because He knew their Law.  What did Jesus do?  He just kept on doing what He was doing.  Never minding what they had to say. 

That is what you got to do.  You don’t have to prove anything to people who make you small.

Most times the people who are trying to make you feel small are usually jealous of you, have their own insecurities or low self esteem. 

Besides, they don’t know what is best for you.  They don’t know your mission, where you are heading in life and so on.

Someone may take 3 months to dig a foundation while his friend has already finished building and moved in.  The one that has moved in does not know the one that is still digging is erecting a skyscraper. 

The one that has moved in was building a bungalow.  So how can the one who finished his now make the skyscraper guy feel small???

So trying to prove yourself to them is a major distraction or detour to slow you down in your great path. 

Like Jesus, just continue what you are on about.

#3 No one can make you feel small except you let them

We are not responsible for what others feel, think or do concerning us.  We are only responsible for how we respond – Chuck Onah   

Therefore, someone tries to make us feel small, you can only get small IF you start meditating on what they said and/or giving voice to it. 

Their words are not a factor.  If their words do not build you up or even correct you in a forward way, move on. 

Remember…Not a factor!

#4 Maintain your composure

People who make others feel small do not like being ignored. 

Sometimes, especially if there is some underlying bullying or manipulation going on, the person is trying to make you react. 

Refuse to react.  Refuse to lose your temper.  Refuse to be intimidated.  Keep your head high.

You don’t have to fit their mold or live up to their standards.  That is why it is important to know who you are! 

Know what you are about.  Show them that you are big after all.

##5  Get bigger

As long as you know who you are and what you are about, you will be unstoppable. 

Hear this

Anyone who does not like you can ever be ahead of you.  If they were ahead of you, they automatically put a full stop on their journey in life.  It is a spiritual law. ” – Pastor Chris PhD DSc.

So what you need to do is keep going.  Do not stop.  Keep moving ahead and forward.  Keep getting bigger.

##6 Help them

Sometimes you got to reach out and help these guys.  Sometimes they may not even know what they are doing.

Help them…calmly.  Pray for them.  Forgive them for they know not what they do.  If they did know what they were doing, then they are pressing a self destruct button.

Because the net effect is that all they are doing in the long run is making themselves desperately unhappy and in extreme cases destroying their lives too!

If you have not read my story on one lovely boss I had that tried to make me small please do so now.  It was no fun, but believe me, that story proves all the points above. 

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