Protect your Mental Health – Set boundaries
Where we don’t have control over overwhelming demands on our attention, our mental health can be affected.
I have realised that setting boundaries was a necessary first step to final recovery from long-term mental illness.
There were no boundaries to the things that attracted my attention during my long-term mental illness. I would start something only to be diverted by the next thing the drew my attention. I often never went back to the uncompleted task.
Zoe helped me get organized, mentoring me in setting boundaries to my attention. This formed the foundation for my full mental health recovery.
Here are a few tips for today’s world in setting limits.
1 Know your boundaries
If you are not aware of your boundaries, you cannot set them with others. Blocking out regular times each day to reflect is essential to getting to know your limits.
Emotional and mental boundaries defining your relationship with others impact on mental health. When you are unaware of them, constant stress and distractions await you.
2 Respect your emotions
Your emotional responses tell you a great deal about your ability to deal with situations and hence your boundaries.
Resentment comes when you feel you have been taken advantage of. That is an indication of where you need to set boundaries. Discomfort and guilt are other cues for the need to set limits.
3 Allow yourself to set boundaries
Too often we let our emotions drives us into a feedback loop. We should not feel uncomfortable about setting boundaries to protect our focus.
Sometimes emotional attachments lead us not to set the appropriate boundaries that protect our focus. In the final analysis, imposing limits will lead to better relationships.
4 Know where you are
Your environment can either help or hinder you in setting boundaries. The nature of your relationships with friends can either help or make it more difficult in setting limits with them. Where people are more willing to ‘give and take’, it is easier to set boundaries.
5 Avoid unnecessary digital interruptions
Screen your phone calls without feeling the need to apologize for this. Mute notifications on your phone.
Set expectations for people to receive your response. Today’s world easily drives a heightened expectation for immediate response.
I have noticed that Zoe has an ‘expectation’ on responses to communication with me and a few close people. At Defying Mental Illness for example, we endeavor to respond within 5 working days. You cannot respond to everyone in a timely manner. For those of importance, do what you can. Let your business contacts know the time frame of response. And for others that you cannot respond to immediately, avoid the guilt. Just get round to it. When people understand your position on response times, you are in the driving seat of healthier relationships with them.
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