Pyschotic Depression – My Journey

My journey in the mental health system started with psychotic depression.   I was signed off work for about six months initially during those long despairing times.

I felt very strange though I was fortunate to have my mum come look after me. Mum being a nurse herself understood the weight of what I was dealing with.  My experiences were strange as mum observing my fitful attempts at sleep.  She told me it was important that I rested my body even if my mind could not settle down to sleep.

Every week, I would accompany mum shopping.   It was an opportunity to get out of the house and also get some fresh air.  I made associations of people with hoods as a group who were signalling to one another.   

Mum attempted to get me off Lagactil, the drug prescribed to me, saying that it was addictive.   She felt I was wrongly prescribed this medication.  She had been played a tape of me ‘being derilious’ when tranquilized at the hospital.  In her opinion, I was merely speaking another language being I was bi-lingual.   Although I rarely spoke anything but English, it was interesting to note however.

I found that I was even less observant than before with my ability to carry out task accurately were  impaired.    I became messier than usual.  My home was constantly in a mess.  Mum later told me that she had to bullldoze to keep my environment clean. Bear in mind I lived alone.  There was no order to my thoughts and actions.  I often got sidetracked so many times I was always chasing my tail.  This developed to become a habit and finally my nature.

A switch in medication to Stelazine after many months had me reacting to the medication in frightening ways.  This all happened within a month of me taking the new drug.   My jaw began moving with my upper teeth uncontrollably against the lower teeth.

There was unexplained intense mental pain that physically manifested in my body.  Somehow I developed an aversion to people wearing green combinations of clothing.   Mental illness had started getting me paranoid.

Mum spent a year with me following my first hospital admission.   I eventually was off work for a whole year!  I fared fairly well for six months following her departure but found myself in hospital again in the following winter.  This yo yo stints with hospital admissions was to become my life for the next 14 years.

More on this another time…

I came to the end of my journey in the mental health system in 2010.  This amazing testimony was chronicled by my wife, Zoe Onah in the book, “Defying the Odds”.   It’s Depression Awareness Week.  Please share this post with someone or grab yourself a copy of this book.  You never know who may be encouraged.

About The Author

Chuck

It all started with Eze (fondly called Chuck) fainting at the airport. When he regained consciousness, Chuck found himself in a mental hospital. He was diagnosed with Psychotic Depression. Over time, Chuck was diagnosed with a range of other mental illnesses with the final one being Schizophrenia. Unbeknown to him about this latest record on his medical files, Chuck carried on with day to day living over the next 14 years until he met Zoe. Over the next 4 years, Chuck and Zoe began a journey of faith to defy the odds of mental illness. Today Chuck’s medical records say NO MENTAL ILLNESS. He defied mental illness and is helping others do the same.

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