Returning To Work Following Mental Illness
Reason for absence on my medical certificate for return to work on the first hospital admission was “nervous disability” then followed by “psychotic depression” on the second admission.
My first discharge into the community was to the care of a pastor whose church I had attended with my mum. I was fortunate he knew one of the workers in the hospital.
When I returned to work a few of my colleagues were sympathetic asking what my plans were for the future. I had not realised that I was on the line for dismissal on account of permanent disability. I remember a series of appointments with the Occupational Health Doctor, an elderly gentleman. It was in a part of my employer’s buildings I had not been to until then.
My Line Manager then was understanding. I was keen on design work but the illness I had suffered made design work affect me badly as intense mental activity did not do me any good. A team away weekend was organised to some establishment my employers owned in Snowdonia. It was a good social outing that gave me opportunity to de-stress. A Christmas gift I got from my Manager was a book titled “Stresswise” which I never got round to reading until two decades later.
I was someone who enjoyed reading a lot but soon found that the motivation to read did not match my interest in the books that I now bought and collected. It appeared my mental energy had been depleted. However, I went on to enrol on a part-time masters course. It opened up an avenue for social expression that I did not have before. The course was demanding but provided for interactions that I would not have had otherwise.
Ever since the breakdown of long-term relationship from my first degree days I had felt extremely lonely with my life being one of work only. In addition I had got a mortgage after only two years of employment with the ensuing pressure on my finances that required discipline. Finances for the first time in my life became an issue as the social support I had when finances was not an issue had also disappeared. What my manager and others had spotted but I was unaware of was my challenges in dealing with stress.
I passed my masters course but fell ill on the day of the graduation. I had hired my graduation gown. I do not entirely recollect what happened on the day but I still have some photos I took on the day with some of my work colleagues.
This hospital admission was to trigger my move from the design office to site data collection. Physical activity was now more clearly helpful to me than any office based work.
A hospital admission four years later got me placed on olanzepin of which I was later to discover I was not expected to ever stop taking. I had been moved onto a medication that I would be entirely dependent on for “normal” living.
Hope this personal log has been interesting enough to share. I’d be delighted in your sharing. You never know whose life may be positively changed!
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