Stop Putting your Life on Hold

I’ll go back to college once the kids are grown

I’ll do xxxx when I have the money

I can’t go to college because I don’t have the grades

Sounds familiar?  Yes, we can put our life on hold at times waiting for perfect conditions.  Perfect conditions that never come.  And then we later feel sad, depressed even, because we regret not doing that thing that we were excited about.

I like the verse from the Bible above.  It is so true.  A farmer who is looking for perfect weather conditions will end up with no harvest or a spoiled one.  A good farmer carries on doing what he needs to do, comes rain or shine.  We need to maintain the same attitude too with things in life.

So could you possibly be putting your life on  hold? Let’s check and see if you are doing any of these:

##1  Dwelling on mistakes

If you look at your mistakes and errors, you will never move more forward than where you already are in life.  Mistakes, errors, whatever you call them, are just lessons to learn from.  See them that way and stop beating yourself.

Mistakes are not to tell us that we are not good enough or to tell us we are unworthy or that we missed the boat.  Which boat anyway?

If we missed the boat, build your own and get on your own boat.  Defy the odds.  Stop looking at the past.  You got to give some friends a rain check, especially those that keep reminding you of your past.  Your future does not define your past.  So close that error list or error book of your life and start re-writing your life.

##2 Unforgiveness

I know we have spoken on this subject to the nth degree but trust me, this poison is deadly.  You think you have moved on but you carrying the weight of unforgiveness?  My friend, even if you say you are moving on, you are not going very far.  Why? Because you are carrying dead weight.  Please let it go. Remove the excess baggage.  Today!

The person that has hurt you may not even know how much this thing is giving you insomnia.  There they are at the car showroom picking out their next new car with the new wife or whatever he calls her.  Meanwhile,  you are stewing at home because he ‘dumped’ you? 

Firstly, you are not rubbish to be dumped, so get rid of that mindset!  Next, how does being angry help you from enjoying life and meeting someone more exciting?  

You know that you are the original ‘You are worth it’ girl but no one else knows because you are carrying a face that looks like thunder.  Especially when Mr Ex’s name crosses your mind.  

Listen up, do not put your life on hold one more second on this issue.  Fine lady like you and you  have even forgotten how to put on your powder and you don’t even dress nice anymore.  It has to stop, OK?  Brothers, likewise, move on and stop adding files to the bulging regret folder.

##3  Waiting for perfect conditions

When will ever be the perfect time for anything?  Why have you planned your wedding in 2020 when we are in 2016? 

What is stopping you from marrying now?  Why are you waiting 4 years to plan a wedding?  The most important part of a marriage is not the wedding day but what happens afterwards! So why the long build up? 

[Tweet “Fly with time and don’t let time fly from you!” #regret]

I know of someone who wanted to buy a particular house in a particular area but could not afford it. 

I just could not fathom why he and his wife could not compromise a little.  Why they could not get a less than perfect house in a less than perfect postcode (or area) in order to get on the housing ladder?  

Each year they saved, but the house prices went up at a faster rate than they could possibly save.  10 years on this was still their story till they have now (ill) decided in their hearts, this is their fate, never to be a home owner!  Why? Because they were waiting for perfect conditions.

Now, I am not saying make foolish, ill prepared decisions but why put your life on hold till everything is perfect.  

Why do you say ‘no kids’ till you are living in a 5 bedroom house?  What is wrong with the 2 bedroom one you are living in now?  The kid, or rather baby, will not know, neither remember, you were living on top of each other.  You’ll just show them the photos or videos.  That would be your only proof.  Please!  I hope I am talking to someone?? 

On that note,  I think I have said enough for today.  Even if you lived 120 years, life is short in comparison to the age of the earth. 

Fly with time and don’t let time fly from you!  

Next time, we will look at what to do to stop putting your life on hold. 

About The Author

Zoe

Zoe met Eze (Chuck) in the 14th year of what turned out to be an 18 year ‘journey’ with mental illness. They got married less than a year of meeting with Zoe fully knowing Chuck had a diagnosis of mental illness. In the 18th year, Chuck defied the odds of mental illness. A consultant psychiatrist signed him off the mental health system with a bill of NO MENTAL ILLNESS. The consultant was so amazed by Chuck’s astonishing recovery that he even questioned how Chuck was diagnosed with mental illness all those years before, in the first place! Today Chuck is free from medication, its dependency and hospitalizations. Zoe’s award nominated book, DEFYING THE ODDS, chronicles the highs and ‘lows’ of this journey. Zoe, often writing from the standpoint of a caregiver, clearly understands that mental illness does not only affect an individual challenged with the disease, but also families, marriages and society as a whole.

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