The Power of Your Story
Now we all have secrets. But have you ever thought that your secret could be a great story?
Last year, I attended The Extraordinary Lady Speaks Conference hosted yearly by Lift Effects. Lift Effects provides a unique speaking platform for extraordinary people from all around the world to share their story. Most of the stories you will hear are ones that will reach even the most desolate and arid parts of your heart. And ultimately give you a ‘lift effect’!
And so at last year’s Lift Effects’ conference, I was not disappointed. I could feel my heart skidding but at the end of each story, leaping for joy, as I sat and listened to all the speakers.
One particular speaker got my attention. Her story came with so much power and impact that even if your memory is like Teflon, you could never forget it!
The lady speaker was born with facial deformity. I believe she had a missing eye. Because of her deformity, she wore a false eye. She also had to take some rather creative steps to cover up her other facial flaws. She had to wear this ‘mask’ as she called it. She was absolutely scared of ever been found without her mask.
But as with life, events happen that are often beyond our control. And a lot of times never makes sense. Often they work out for our good though it is not so plain when they happen.
Contrary situations presented itself one fateful day to this lady. Those contrary situation meant she could not wear her mask. (I believe it was something along the lines of the false eye went missing; her niece or nephew had picked it up while she was sleeping/resting, and something or the other. The bottom line, it was now missing. I am trying to remember the intricate details here, so forgive me for the foggy details).
At this point, do permit me to swerve off course a little here with a similarish encounter of facial deformity…I am going somewhere with this lady’s story but I want you to understand the depth of her story.
Years before the Lift Effects conference, Chuck and I had gone shopping one day. A lady came standing next to me looking at an item on one of the shelves. When I turned to carry on with my shopping, my eyes caught the lady’s profile. I quickly gasped, hopefully not audibly, and my neck swiveled back in its original position. The lady had a deformity! It seemed like she had no eye in one of her sockets… just like the lady that was now standing on the Lift Effects stage.
I remember back then thinking that should I look again, I would be definitely gaping. But I so wanted to look! I so wanted to confirm my eyes had not played tricks on me. I had never seen such a deformity before. The truth was that I had been taken very aback by what I had seen.
Admittedly, I did think why she had not tried to cover her deformity. (Just like I did when the lady speaker appeared on that Lift Effects stage). I also wondered how many had gasped or gaped or whispered when they saw the lady now standing next to me in the store. Or others would be polite, but not wait to go home and share what they had seen! (And no it was not the same lady. Yes, I am sure, this lady was a different height and so on from the one at Lift Effect conference).
Well I digressed, so journey back with me to the Lift Effect speaker. The ‘missing’ false eye was to mark a pivotal turning point in her life and forever. She was compelled to face the world without the camouflage. In spite of the cruel jests and taunts (and possible gasps too), she got through the day…just. And every day since.
From that day, she would never face the world again with any mask. Her unfortunate incident was to change not just her life but the life of many women all over the world.
It was a big decision, a gigantic leap, but one to make. And I admire her for it. Whereas some of us do not have facial disfigurement, yet everyone can in some way can relate to her story.
In this ‘I am worth it’ generation, we use concealers and foundations to hide our minor flaws in the name of perfecting our looks.
And not only on the physical level, there are other things we try to hide behind masks. It could be our professional life, our marriage, our kids or even our health, in particular our mental health. There is that mask we are hiding behind, that secret that we don’t want the world to know. At any cost.
Sharing a secret openly is not the easiest thing in the world. How many people are willing to take off their masks and tell their story? We all love hearing stories, fascinated by them even. In fact the more scandalous, the better. However, we do not want to be the one to tell our own story, nor do we want others to find out.
We don’t want to own up to telling others that we were once homeless. That we have been diagnosed with bipolar disorder. That our prodigal son is doing time in jail! That we were shop lifting at 16. Or came from a dysfunctional home.
When you put yourself in the shoes of our gracious lady speaker at the Lift Effects event, think how everyday she runs the ‘risk’ of meeting a stranger that will stare, gasp or perhaps even be mean towards her. But she chose not to crawl under the covers.
No, she is out there. Telling her story and motivating others. She stands on platforms, and as a national/international speaker. She is also a coach and mentor.
Her story changed my thinking!
For me, I was truly impacted that day. Because I saw the other side of her story. I saw what it must have felt like having to wear ‘masks’ before facing the world each day. I could see having being tired with the ritual of it. Having to keep it a secret so others did not see what lay underneath.
Meanwhile what was underneath was far more beautiful. Even more so than what we see in our flawless, airbrushed models on magazine covers.
What was underneath was the beauty of a person. And that beauty was enhanced because of her confidence about herself. Because she was free and liberated because her secret was out!
Beauty after all is not skin deep but what is inside the person!
Her story made me understand that if she had come to accept how she had been born, then the world had no right to change her perspective or the view she held of herself.
Her story gave me better understanding of her ‘world’, her challenges, the possible stigmas and discrimination she faced. Without this understanding, it is easy to judge what we don’t know.
Her story changed my thinking. That deformity is often viewed as physical, yet often we face battles with a deformity in our soul or our life.
Her story made me realize that I was no more beautiful than her solely on the basis I had no visible physical deformities. That beauty is not after all even skin deep but truly what is inside the person. For inner confidence always exudes beauty.
Above all, her story made me realize that secrets make powerful stories.
The next Lift Effects conference is the Extraordinary Lady Speaks Conference. The theme is ‘I am Possible’. It takes place on Saturday 18 June 2016 at the Croydon Conference Centre in Surrey, UK. For more details go to Lift Effects website or book a ticket on Eventbrite.
If you want to share a story with us at Defying Mental Illness, click here.
Zoe is a proud ambassador of Lift Effects!
Related articles
About The Author
