Thinking of Leaving your Current Relationship?
Guest Blog by Cera Inspires
Are you thinking of leaving your current relationship? Here are some things to think on, and also depending on if you are single or married.
For Singles
Make sure you’re leaving for the right reasons — for yourself, and not for some other person you think is “better”. In every relationship, there are trade-offs.
Just because someone looks better from a distance doesn’t mean that you won’t end up in the same situation as your current relationship. In truth… everyone is growing and everyone is learning; There is no such thing as relationship perfection.
In short, by always thinking the grass is greener, you end up giving up good things/people that are in your present… and you trade one set of problems for another.
For Married
In relationships/marriage, we sometimes are faced with this challenge. At such moments, you start asking:
AM I WITH THE RIGHT PARTNER?
During a seminar, a woman asked,” How do I know if I am with the right person?”
The author then noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so he said, “It depends. Is that your partner?”
In all seriousness, she answered “How do you know?”
“Let me answer this question because the chances are good that it’s weighing on your mind,” replied the author.
Here’s the answer. Every relationship has a cycle… In the beginning; you fall in love with your partner. You anticipate their calls, want their touch, and like their idiosyncrasies. Falling in love wasn’t hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and a spontaneous experience. You didn’t have to DO anything. That’s why it’s called “falling” in love. People in love sometimes say, “I was swept of my feet.
Picture the expression, “falling in love”. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something happened TO YOU! Falling in love is a passive and spontaneous experience. But after a few months or years of being together, the euphoria of love “Seemly” fades.
It’s a natural cycle of EVERY relationship… Those are love challenges which you have to decide either to win together or lose out completely on.
Sometimes, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all). Touch is not always welcome (when it happens). And your spouse’s idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts.
The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship; you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you fell in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage.
This is the moment! That one moment when questions begin to pop up in your head. At this point, you and/or your partner might start asking, “Am I with the right person?” And as you reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience again… with someone else.
This is when relationships break down… if you choose.
The key to succeeding in a relationship is not finding the right person; it is learning to love the person you marry. Then they would be right!!!
People blame their spouse for their unhappiness and look outside for “fulfillment”. At this point, permit me to say that your fulfillment really lies with you not someone else…
Extramarital “fulfillment” comes in all shapes and sizes. Infidelity is the most common. But sometimes people turn to work, a hobby, friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances.
But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your relationship with your spouse.
It lies within it.
I’m not saying that you couldn’t fall in love with someone else. You could. And TEMPORARILY you’d feel better. But you’d be in the same situation a moments later. You know why???
Because you have not learnt to find substance in-depth in your self… So, no one can give it to you and that includes Extramarital “fulfillment”.
Because (listen carefully to this):
The key to succeeding in a relationship like said before, is not finding the right person; it’s learning to love the person you found… Only then would they become right… Remember, Love covers a multitude of sins/errors…
SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. You have to work on it day in and day out. It takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it demands WISDOM.
You have to know WHAT TO DO to make it work. Make no mistake about it. Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your partner), Just as there are physical laws Of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships. If you know how to apply these laws, the results are predictable.
Love is therefore a “decision”. Not just a feeling. Remember this: God often determines who walks into your life…especially the right ones! But It is entirely up to you to decide:
Who you let walk away!
Who you let stay!!
And who you refuse to let GO!!!
Go fix and make it right in your marriage! You CAN! And You SHOULD!!!
Cera ‘Inspires’ Osagie is a Writer, Speaker, Model, Relationship/Marriage Counselor and a Singer. She started dropping her nuggets on relationships and purposeful living on social media (Facebook) after years of scripting with pen on paper. She has gained over 40,000 followers online due to her work, consistency and commitment. Over the last three years, this has emanated to bigger projects such as the productions of Audio books, E-books, Events, Radio programs and the just concluded “Project 1M Inspire” which reached out to over a million people. The production of Cera Magazine is another feather to her cap. This is an expansion of her vision and goal of reaching out to more people with her inspiring words for better living. Visit her website for more details
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