Top 10 Facts of Causes of Low Self Esteem
Most of us at one point or the other has been affected by low self esteem. Self esteem is to do with how we value ourselves. It is to do with our self worth. What is the price you would put on yourself? Do you see yourself as valuable?
Identifying why we have low self esteem or helping someone who does, can go a long way in dealing and overcoming low self esteem.
##1 Prejudice and Stigma
In Defying Mental Illness (DMI), one of our visions is defying the stigma that often goes hand in hand with mental illness. We are really passionate about this because prejudice and stigma brings isolation and a whole host of other issues including low self esteem. When one is made to feel excluded or not part of the ‘clique’ or not even ‘normal’, then it is very easy to devalue oneself.
##2 Wrong Words
We often say here at DMI, that we are made by words. Words are so important. Sticks and stones may break our bones, and words DO hurt us, or build us. What to increase someone’s confidence? Tell them words of value. Want to damage one’s confidence? Make them feel unworthy! Words often stick in our minds and the replay button is always on. So we can’t afford to be careless with our words.
##3 Wrong Role Models
This follows on from point 2. If those we hold in regard think less of us, it is very easy to do likewise with ourselves. If teachers, parents, guardians, pastors, relatives, even the media, paint a negative picture of us, or keep pointing out our ‘shortcomings’ or excessive criticisms, it is a matter of time before we start seeing ourselves in a negative light. The media paints a picture of the perfect person with the perfect life even in subtle ways like in films or soaps. Low self esteem can also be a case of always aiming to please, but no matter how much the person tries, their efforts are never acknowledged or recognised, thereby affecting them in the long run.
##4 Illness
Generally illness is a horrible state, whether physical or mental. Some illness scars and mars. This makes us even more self conscious. Example, an illness that deforms us may affect our confidence a great deal. We are no longer that ‘attractive’ person anymore. When we look at ourselves we do not appreciate what we see any longer. When the quality of life is compromised, perhaps some physical things that were taken for granted are now a challenge, it can have negative consequences.
##5 Personality Type
Some people are more inclined to seeing things more from a negative standpoint. If we are more negative thinking than positive or Word thinking, then our confidence and self confidence will be damaged. There are also some people who are more gregarious and easily make friends while others are not so outgoing. If we find it challenging to relate to others, that can also affect our self esteem.
##6 Difficult Childhood
Childhood is a very important part of life. Childhood is the foundation for the rest of one’s life. When kids experience traumatic or difficult challenges in their life, they may as a result have their self esteem affected.
Some kids go through abandonment, neglect, abuse, never knowing the safety of warmth and love. Sometimes punishments to kids are excessive or do not fit the ‘wrong’. Some kids are unfairly compared to their other siblings for example. This makes that kid feel inferior towards others. Kids that are bullied can be seriously affected by this experience, to the extent it can linger into adulthood. During the teenage years, it is easy to be more conscious of our physical appearance which may cause some to withdraw when they feel less attractive, or not as fashionable, as their peers.
##7 Peer Pressure
Kids often join gangs to feel validated. But the culture of these gangs only makes these kids even more vulnerable, hardened but beneath they have very low self worth of themselves. When kids are forced to agree with or do things they don’t agree with, just in a bid to conform, can affect them no end.
##8 Stress And Pressures Of Life
Not feeling that are you are coping well with the stresses and pressures of life, feeling that you have to conform to standards to meet other’s expectations, can lead to feelings of low self value. Bereavement can also affect one’s confidence too. Being jilted or betrayed in a relationship or marriage can lead to one doubting themselves, or making unfair comparisons.
##9 Academic Challenges
Feeling one is stupid can make one develop low self esteem. Underachieving brings shame and even in some cases ridicule.
##10 Financial And Employment Status
When one is in debt or perhaps even scrapping the pan, trying to make a living out of a dime, feelings of helplessness or even hopelessness can make one feel worthless. Inability to provide for the family is no fun and leads to low self esteem. It is easy to compare oneself to the Joneses next door who have just bought a new car and gone on a cruise, while you have just received a red letter from the bank. In times like unemployment, it is easy for the party to feel they are a failure.
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The truth is you are priceless. There is no one like you. Never has been. Never will be. We are all coded uniquely. That is the DNA in us. Our secret code. The Bible tells us we are fearfully and wonderfully made. We are a masterpiece, a handiwork! Wow. There are many beautiful words in the Good Book. Above all, that one Man paid the price for us with His blood, and the cost of that Blood cannot be priced. Therefore, we are people of worth. Life is unfair when we have a low self esteem.
Next time, we will look at what we can do to improve our self esteem.
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