Last time we took a brief look at what happens when mental illness strikes your marriage, when mental illness becomes the uninvited companion in your home.

Mental illness brings chaos and upheaval in the home.  It is worse than the most interfering mother in law!   Mental illness can be frightening. 

As the caregiver, ‘living with’ mental illness can feel like a very lonely experience too.   Everyone else but you seems to be having a normal life with ‘normal’ challenges.  This can make you feel like a stranger to the human race.

3 Steps In Dealing With Mental Illness In Your Marriage As A Caregiver

1. You Have A Companion –  He is the Holy Spirit. 

You need to know and really know who this Person is!  It may be 3 am in the morning and you are at your wit’s end.  Who can you call on?  The Holy Spirit.

He is  the One that will answer your call anytime, anywhere, any place.    There is never a bad connection or out of range with Him!  He is the One who will never leave nor forsake you.  The One that  is there for you in lonely, bewildering times.  The One that comforts you when you are in despair.  The Holy Spirit is your Comforter,  Counsellor, Helper, Intercessor, Advocate, Strengthener and Standby  (John 14:26 Amplified version). 

I recommend the following books:

1. What the Holy Spirit can do for you – Pastor Chris Oyakhilome
2. What the Holy Spirit will do in you – Pastor Chris Oyakhilome
3. Good morning Holy Spirit – Pastor Benny Hinn
4. Welcome Holy Spirit – Pastor Benny Hinn
5. The Holy Spirit: Activating God’s Power in Your Life – Billy Graham

2. Get Pastoral Help too

You may already have help from the medical professionals and perhaps from the few friends or family you may have confided in.  It is also necessary though to get support from your church.  Some people try to separate church and family as different compartments in their life.  However the truth is that the church is your family.  The church are your brothers and sisters in Christ. 

Perhaps you have a home group in your church.  In these groups, intimate relationships are formed and they will be on the lookout for you and your family.

You also have been given a spiritual head, an oracle from God.  This is your pastor, vicar or priest.  This church family network can pray for you, give you words of comfort from the scriptures and lend a helping hand too.  This is why is important you attend the church the Lord has directed you to go.  Sometimes when the doctors and professionals cannot offer you hope, you need to hear hope and there is always something of comfort from the Word of God.

3. Look After Yourself

This is so important.  If the caregiver’s health is at risk, then this shakes the foundation.  The caregiver is the pillar of the home and it is vital you get the necessary rest, nutrition and exercise that your body needs and craves.  You need to be wise. 

You may need to take nutritional and vitamin supplements in addition to your diet.  You need to rest in the Lord too, in that He loves and cares for you.  You need to cast the cares into His capable hands. 

You need to have good stress management techniques in dealing with the day to day pressures that mental illness brings.  Feed your mind with the right thoughts.  Maintain a positive outlook.  In all you do, remember, we are the light of the world.  Out of any dark situation, we can supernaturally pull out light.  No amount of darkness can extinguish the light of God in you!

You will be hearing from Chuck next month.  So till next time, have a great August!

About The Author

Zoe

Zoe met Eze (Chuck) in the 14th year of what turned out to be an 18 year ‘journey’ with mental illness. They got married less than a year of meeting with Zoe fully knowing Chuck had a diagnosis of mental illness. In the 18th year, Chuck defied the odds of mental illness. A consultant psychiatrist signed him off the mental health system with a bill of NO MENTAL ILLNESS. The consultant was so amazed by Chuck’s astonishing recovery that he even questioned how Chuck was diagnosed with mental illness all those years before, in the first place! Today Chuck is free from medication, its dependency and hospitalizations. Zoe’s award nominated book, DEFYING THE ODDS, chronicles the highs and ‘lows’ of this journey. Zoe, often writing from the standpoint of a caregiver, clearly understands that mental illness does not only affect an individual challenged with the disease, but also families, marriages and society as a whole.

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