Family Drama – When Mental Illness strikes a family
People react to different things in different ways. Mental illness is no different. Being told your daughter, sister, parent, cousin or uncle has a mental health issue can be a shock to any family.
So how does a family react when mental illness strikes a family?
As I have said a few times, mental illness has not been a stranger to me at all. ‘Stranger’, meaning the people I have met with the condition over the years. When mental illness took abode in my very residence with Chuck, even though I knew before I married him what I was getting into, it somehow became more personal to me.
Now, that is not to say that mental illness affecting various friends and families over the years did not have an affect on me. I remember listening over the phone once to a dear one for possible two hours or even three hours non stop one night. Hey Zoe, you could have put the phone down surely? Of course I could have!
Even though I knew that a lot of what was being said was not making sense, I did not want to wear the guilty badge of making a bad situation even worse. I allowed the person to say all they had to say. If it was therapy for them, then I was glad to help.
Of course, whenever I saw their telephone number flash in future, I would calculate if I had the time and the energy to go through yet another mentally draining drill.
But the fact is, not everyone has the patience of Job when it comes to these matters. Neither am I advocating that anyone should either.
But, mental illness strikes and does hit families hard. As I said the person in question was someone close. My conscience could not allow disregarding or avoiding them. I could not say anything hurtful or laugh in scorn at them, even though their family members may or not had been guilty of this.
Mental illness tears families apart like a bush fire.
In my own experience, I have seen three main groups of people.
So What Happens When Mental Illness Strikes A Family?
##1 The ‘No Matter the Cost’ Group
They are those who stand by through thick and thin. No matter the cost. They cannot abandon their loved one no matter bad. Even to the detriment of their health, finances, or their own sanity!
Most times, mothers belong to this group.
##2 The ‘Stand By You for a Time’ Group
They are those who start the race, but just can’t keep up with the tireless, unpredictable attention, mental illness demands. They will stand by the individual out of loyalty at the start. This class of people then decide to get on with their lives and let whatever be…just be! They usually feel their loved ones should be put in a home or have a caregiver.
Eventually, this group of people can even feel resentment. The resentment is usually about the impact, cost and time that the disease has cost the family.
Most times, this group of people are siblings, close friends, and even spouses who feel mental illness has cheated their marriage. This group of people may even be church members or even pastors, who feel that the person in question does not want to help themselves. The ‘Even heaven helps those who help themselves’ thinkers. A real tough decision though for this group.
##3 The ‘Snap out of It’ Group
Then there are those who just don’t have the stomach or patience for it. They cannot understand how they all could have come from the same household and yet their loved one finds life hard to cope. They firmly believe that their loved one should snap out of it! Get a firm grip. That their loved one is trying to ruin the reputation of the family. That this was surely not the way they were raised. And therefore their ‘irresponsible attention seeking behavior’ cannot be tolerated!
For this group of people, they may even believe that the best solution is leave their loved one for a while, so that they will come to their senses. And they must come to their senses with profound apologies and their tail between their legs for the mayhem they caused, of course.
Yes, they are family, sometimes these are more the extended family.
When mental illness strikes a family it seems like your house is on fire. It is draining, daunting and very tiring. No one condemns anyone. It is just not something easy to deal with. But no matter the case, remember there is always hope. Recovery is always possible. Total recovery whereby no one has to belong to any of the groups above.
What did you do when mental illness struck your family? Do you have any thoughts on When Mental Illness Strikes a Family? Please share in comments below.
About The Author
