When others let us down

Many years ago, someone broke my heart. Yeah, you have heard the headlines several times before but I have never given the details. Well that is not going to happen today either…!
Anyway, at the time, it felt like someone had reached out, smashed my ribs and ripped my heart out and dared to trample it. Sure, that sounds messy. Among the host of feelings I endured at that time was disappointment.
Disappointment of dreams. Disappointment of the chance of being happy with someone I thought I loved…lets not go there again. Disappointment of unspoken but implied promises and so on and so forth.

Amidst all that messy business, someone said to me every disappointment is an appointment. At the time, I was too upset to even ask what it fully meant. But now, of course, I know that disappointments may close one door and give you the chance to have a door of blessings opened instead. And sure, I married Chuck, what a big blessing that is…and hey thank goodness I was disappointed!
So what do you do when someone has let you down? It may not necessarily be someone you are dating as in my example above. It could a friend, a family member, a work colleague…anyone!

##1 It is not the end of the world

As much as it seems like the world may be slowly spilling down; as much as may feel like Brexit has created a lot of turmoil and the world is ending, yes, the Rapture will happen one day, but it has not happened this very minute. So till that time, relax. It is not the end of your world. Your life does not depend on the promises of others, no matter how much of a ‘once in a lifetime opportunity’ it was that was presented to you!
Indeed, if someone lets you down, if you were hoping for favors, these will come through someone else. Yes, nothing is not over till God says it is. So look forward with renewed vigor even though your heart might be wanting to escape from the bars of its cage!

##2 Mind your emotions

It seems perfectly reasonable to get angry, immensely so, and bitter even. The fact is how will that change things? It won’t? Now, I know this is beginning to sound like a broken record, so I won’t go along that path again. However, bitterness and unforgiveness is one concoction you don’t want to be taking right now.
If the other person knew better, they would not have let you down. Look at it that way. If my date at the time recognized the diamond I was, he would not have done what he did. If he is in doubt, he can ask Chuck. Ha, ha. That is me getting my last laugh. No, I am not vindictive. But I am making a point here.
Why not offer the olive branch and see where you can heal any rift instead? It would save you from a lot of sadness and even depression. And embarrassment…find out from another of one of my tales coming next….

##3 Can you give the person another chance?

We all make mistakes. Even good old you has made mistakes, right? Another person letting you down may be a genuine mistake. It could be a misunderstanding. It could be circumstances that got in the way at the time. What if they had an emergency at that time.
I remember a friend coming to see me one time many years ago. The friend actually rang to say they were half an hour away. I had prepared a lovely meal and planned a good chill out evening. Several hours later, friend had not arrived. Not only that, phone was switched off. Boy my anger was inflamed.
When my friend had the ‘decency’ to ring me a good few days later(!), and when I had could finally raise an offended finger to press the answer button… and, and, and… when I had offloaded the contents of my bruised heart, my friend calmly told me that their father had had a heart attack! I can tell you I felt like someone had whacked me with a wet sponge.
When you offer the olive branch and not jump to conclusions, but give the individual the benefit of the doubt, you may find that the person did not set to go all out to hurt you.
Especially, if the other party acted out of character, even surprised you.

Could you give them another chance to redeem themselves? Think of how many times we have let God down, yet He keeps giving us one opportunity after another. That is the Christian life and yes, as hard as it is, we can do so…within reason.
Now the ‘within reason’ bit has to be added, because you surely do not want to some punch bag towards someone who thinks you are some dough that must be kneaded!

##4 Could you have anything to do with the ‘let down’?

Now, I am hoping your browser is still open and you are reading this because you are put off with this heading.
But if people constantly let us down, or even if this is one isolated incident, it does not take anything away from you to examine yourself and find out if you had anything to do with it! Ouch! Now, what could I have possibly done to Mr. Date… oh, oh, oh?
In checking if there was any contribution on your part, check your attitude to the other individual.

Have you let them down too in the past? Were you not clear in what you wanted? Did you exert too much pressure on them? Are your expectations unreasonable or beyond reach?

##5 Don’t take it out on someone else!

Not because someone has let you down, means that everyone else will.

Or that a particular group of people constantly seem to let you down does not mean that all people of that group are like that.

Now stop pretending like you have not thought it before, ha.
OK, all the men that have let you down were all vertically challenged. Don’t jump to the conclusion that there short men are notorious for letting people down.

Everyone deserves a chance. And stereotypes, even when there seems to be some truth to it, is not necessarily so in every circumstance or case.
Finally, all in all, I will conclude with this thought. Chuck always says something…We are not responsible for what others feel, think or do concerning you. You are only responsible for how you respond.
I agree.
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About The Author

Zoe

Zoe met Eze (Chuck) in the 14th year of what turned out to be an 18 year ‘journey’ with mental illness. They got married less than a year of meeting with Zoe fully knowing Chuck had a diagnosis of mental illness. In the 18th year, Chuck defied the odds of mental illness. A consultant psychiatrist signed him off the mental health system with a bill of NO MENTAL ILLNESS. The consultant was so amazed by Chuck’s astonishing recovery that he even questioned how Chuck was diagnosed with mental illness all those years before, in the first place! Today Chuck is free from medication, its dependency and hospitalizations. Zoe’s award nominated book, DEFYING THE ODDS, chronicles the highs and ‘lows’ of this journey. Zoe, often writing from the standpoint of a caregiver, clearly understands that mental illness does not only affect an individual challenged with the disease, but also families, marriages and society as a whole.

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