When Young Kids become Carers
Sometimes, through no fault of anyone, kids even very young kids, end up being their parent’s carer.
This can often be seen in homes where there are no other supporting adults that can take on the role of carer to an unwell father or an unwell mother.
It is important that we do not ignore the effects and even the psychological needs of children that find themselves in such very responsible positions.
I have met a few in my time, especially in the advocacy work I do. And my admiration for these kids grows each time.
Lets paint a picture…
A parent is challenged with a chronic debilitating sickness or perhaps a mental illness or disorder. That parent can barely look after themselves let alone their kid or kids.
The kid soon find they are swapping roles. They have now unwittingly become the parent in the home, the one that is holding the fort.
Waking up in the morning, responsibility starts immediately. They may have to check on their parent to see how just how they are doing. Maybe check to see if mum or dad has taken their medication. They may find themselves preparing their own breakfast and maybe their parent’.
They also may put the laundry in the washing machine and a few more chores that need to be done before setting off for their day, just so there is not a pile of things to do after school.
Then think of that kid witnessing their mum or dad in pain, or having a panic attack. As traumatizing as it may sound, maybe the parent has been in bed for days crying and weeping, feeling suicidal. Or has an addiction which the child has become accustomed to.
And that kid may also have to provide emotional support too!
And that kid may also have to care for younger siblings too.
Not easy, huh?
That same kid has to give the world a sunshine, while internalizing their own fears and anxieties, while still wanting to be a child, while still trying to grow up. And growing up is not easy in today’s equally demanding world.
It is a tall unfair menu order but this is the reality of child carers or young carers as they also called.
Figures from the ONS suggest 244,000 people under 19 are carers – about 23,000 are under nine!
A Young carer by definition is:
a person under 18 who provides or intends to provide care for another person (of any age, except where that care is provided for payment, pursuant to a contract or as voluntary work).’
Children and Families Act 2014
These young carers grow up early due to circumstances beyond their control. They do not have normal childhood and may miss out even on school activities.
It is important that we also look out for these ‘soldiers’ (as I call them) in the following way:
- Spiritually (Let’s remember them in our thoughts and prayers
- Mentally (consider their own mental health
- Emotionally (they may bottle up a lot of their emotions
- Psychologically (what is the long term impact they may or not have
Although some of these young kids may not resent their parents, they may feel cheated with life and therefore it is important we consider this with any undesirable behavioral acts.
Lets not be too quick to be judgmental.
Lets not think they are lazy when they miss doing their homework.
The whole care support including schools, you and I should remember that these kids need an outlet to depressurize themselves. So lets give some of the things I mentioned today some thought.
If you are an aunt, uncle, neighbor or friend to these kids or families, be the one that can lend a helping hand.
Don’t look the other way.
Have you or are you a child carer? Please let us hear about your experiences if you feel comfortable sharing. And bravo to you!
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Good topic! Thanks for sharing